Lurking

I seem to be doing a lot of lurking right now. I am reading, but not doing a lot of commenting. Not sure why. I guess I am just not inspired to say much right now. I am still around, though.

I get a three day weekend this weekend. I love it. I could use the extra day off. I know Hubby is enjoying having my around. Speaking of Hubby, I think he has concluded that he is going through a mid life crisis. He is 37, and he is looking at his life and deciding that this is not where he expected to be right now. He still wants to do counseling, but he has not made any move to actually make an appointment with a counselor. I am willing to go with him for couples counseling. It will not hurt anything. I am sure there is IF stuff we could work through. I am just happy he is not chasing other women and buying sports cars.

I am making scrub hats this weekend. I have worn the same dozen or so for the past few months, and I was starting to get bored with them. I think I have the pattern to where I like it now. I found that I like some size to the bouffant on the hats, and I like the band I did this time. I think it will be way more comfortable. They are fairly easy to make. I am also thinking of doing some seasonal hats. I might like to do some for Halloween and Christmas. I may have to get some material for that this weekend.

Here are a couple of the hats I made this weekend.... (Thanks to my dog's teddy bear for the modeling help.)

I hope everyone has a good Labor Day weekend!

Rainy Wednesday

And I have the day off! I really needed it, too. Work has been really rough. I was in two really bad cases over the past couple of days. One was a trauma, and the other was a scheduled case which went bad. Really bad. I hate trauma, and I hate having cases go bad. I prefer nice, predictable scheduled cases where things go exactly as planned. I do not get all excited by trauma, I get stressed out. I need to get rid of the bad mojo. Hopefully it will be gone by the time I go back to work tomorrow.

Hubby has been in a funk lately. The other night we tried to talk, but I think we missed what the other is saying. I think he was trying to tell me that he resents the fact that I made us move out here. I was the one who took the job at this big hospital in Roanoke. I was the one who said I could not stay in Tappahannock. I really could not stay. I was way too depressed. He keeps wanting me to stop working so much overtime. I actually do not work a lot of overtime. Usually it is about 4-5 hours per week. I think that is not so bad. They usually let me out of my room when I am scheduled to get off work. I am not on call very often. I love what I do. In order for us to be financially comfortable I have to work the hours I do. I pack lunches for both of us most days. I pay the mortgage. I think Hubby is doing fantastic with his practice. I really appreciate the fact that he is able to help pay the bills. I am actually impressed that he is able to do that so soon after starting his solo practice. I may have been a little stressed out for a while once I realized that my paychecks would not cover all the bills coming in, but that was no indication on how he was doing. That was me being stressed about not being able to pay the bills, and not feeing comfortable enough to ask him to help pay them. I was trying not to put any pressure on him because I was not sure how well his practice was doing. I do not know what else I can do to be supportive. I think between his feelings about the move and the IF stuff, he may not be happy underneath it all. I do not know what I can do to help. We may try seeing a marriage counselor. Hopefully the counselor can at least help us communicate better, which may go a long way to helping us work through this.

Lazy Satuday

Hubby and I had a really hard time getting moving this morning. We did not eat breakfast until 9:30 this morning. It was really nice. I think I feel that way every Saturday morning we sleep in.

I think my venture into eating core foods with WW this week was a bust. I just do not eat that way. I think I like food and wine too much. I go back to Flex plan this week. I have lost weight, though, so they took another point away from me. It will take me a little bit to figure out where the point will come from. At least I have lost weight. Hopefully that will continue.

I got my big blue tunnel so that I can play with my dog. I realized that I need to find a way to keep it from rolling in order to get her to go through it. I will work it out. My new agility class will start this Tuesday.

Work was all right this week. Nothing too very exiting. The robot took most of the week off, though. I think it was tired.

And now for some thing completely different...
This made me smile.


more animals

Patience, Grashopper!

Patience is not my strong point. I feel like I am so close, yet so far away.

There was much confusion at my appointment today. I made the appointment for the ultrasound yesterday. I thought that was what the RE wanted. I was mistaken, and the staff there did not set me straight. I have not seen the RE in over a month, so I think neither of us were sure what was going on. So, the appointment was made, and I went in today. I talked with the RE, who was confused on why we were doing the ultrasound. He said he usually does baseline ultrasounds once patients have the medication in hand. He was also not sure what we wanted to do. We discussed the options. I let him know that we really wanted to try injectables next. The clomid and IUI did not work. So, I now have an appointment to get the teaching on the injections. Yippee! Hopefully both me and Hubby can get off work. I am crossing my fingers that things will be better now that I can see him regularly.

I am just generally crabby today, though. Despite the fact I have the day off. I switched my WW eating plan from flex to core, just to see how I could do. I think I am going to have to try it for a couple of weeks before I get the hang of it. Right now I am feeling shaky and irritable, and i think it is because I started trying flex plan yesterday. At least I do not have to be at work. I hope I will adjust soon. I am trying to drink a lot of water and bear with it for the time being.
I may try to work out later today. I think I need it, and it should make me feel better.

Off to clean house a bit. I do not know how, but the house seems messy to me almost right after we clean it. Very frustrating...

Monday, Monday.

Not bad for a Monday, really. The robot case went well, despite the grumpy surgeon. (Damn those grumpy surgeons! I got off work on time, and that can be a minor miracle some days.

I made an appointment with my RE for the ultrasound of the uterus. They made it for tomorrow! I could not believe it. I was lucky enough to be off, and they had time to fit me in. Yay! I love it! The only problem was, I thought the test would be done 7-10 days after my the start of my period. I hope they are able to do it. I guess we will see tomorrow. At least I will be able to talk to my RE and hopefully get things moving. As I said, we will see. Hopefully all will become clear in the morning.

Finally!

Yay! Period started today around midday. Now I can call the RE and make an appointment for the ultrasound of my uterus. Finally! That took long enough. It made me realize how much I love this community, though. It was really helpful to read blogs of women who were going through the same thing I was was. Not to mention all the bloggy love of the comments.

I am a little nervous about this uterus ultrasound. I am afraid I am going to have a D and C because my lining is too thick. My previous RE mentioned that my uterine lining was a little thick, but he did not think it would be a problem. I guess I will know soon enough.

Still Nothing

Still waiting on AF. Still frustrated she is not cooperating. The one cycle I want her to show up, and she disappears. I hate how PMS symptoms are so similar to pregnancy symptoms, it makes it very easy to delude yourself.

I think I have decided that August is a crappy month. Do not start anything in August. I think things that start in August just do not work out. I do not have anything to base this on, just a gut feeling I get around every August. And it may be just me, and where I am at today.

I just want to cry! or Rant, rant, rant!

Just to fill you in, here are the facts: My cycles are usually around 35 days. Metformin keeps them nice and regular. My last period was July 6. I should have started this past weekend. I still do not have my period. I am exhausted and not nearly as perky as I usually am. I broke down and POAS and it was BFN. (Or "Not Pregnant" as the test told me.) I was kicking myself for buying the damn thing in the first place, because it did not tell me anything I did not already know deep down in my heart. I am never pregnant. Apparently it cannot happen to me without some sort of medical intervention, and even then, I am not sure.

I just want to cry because I am so tired, and I have no reason for it. Stupid hope kicks you in the ass every time, don't it. Once I start my period I can start the next round of IF stuff, but damn Flo ain't showing up. What the hell is going on? Is it too much to ask for my period to show up when I expect it to? Or if it does not show up, I want a damn good reason. I was expecting my period this cycle, so where is it? It always showed up before. Now is not the time to go missing!

Of course now that I have POAS, my period will start tomorrow. It had better. I do not know how much more of this I can take.

Theme of the Week: DaVinci

I realized today that I am likely going to be in robot cases three days out of five. At least tomorrow the surgeon is really nice, even if the room is going to be a zoo. There will be four nurses (two scrubbed), one scrub tech, three doctors, one rep, one anesthesiologist, and one laparoscopic tech. It takes a team to get these cases done, but everyone on the team has to do their part. Not everyone on my team tomorrow pulls the same weight. I may get frustrated. No, I suspect I will get frustrated. On the bright side, I am only there until 3 PM, so after the DaVinci case is over I can go home. I may also be in the DaVinci cases later this week. One surgeon has posted two in one day. That makes for a long day. At least there will be fewer people in the room for those cases. One thing which makes these cases difficult this week is that the DaVinci laparoscopic tech is on vacation. I think he chose a bad week to go on vacation. I hope I can make it through the week.

I still have not gotten my period, and I am so tired! I think this PMS is wiping me out this cycle. I may I need to start taking some Motrin menstrual complete. (That stuff is the bomb!) It has now been just over 35 days since my last period. (That sounded like an AA admission, sorry.) My cycles have usually been around 32-35 days. But they have been known to be longer. I hate POAS because it is always so depressing, and I feel like a loser. Another rejection. Though POAS can bring on the period, so maybe I should try it just to get the cycle over with. At the moment, I am just hoping my period will come on tomorrow. My period always shows up, and this cycle is not going to be the exception. I have had a decade without a BFP, so I am fairly sure that we are not going to get pregnant without medical intervention.
I have learned to squelch any hope because it just depresses me further.

I hate the waiting.

Sunday, The End of the Weekend

How sad. This was a good weekend, too. Yesterday I ran some errands in the morning, and then Hubby and I attended a beer tasting festival in the afternoon. We had a good time, but I realized that we are sort of middle aged. Hubby got heartburn from all the beer after a few hours. He says he was drinking too fast. We are likely going back next year, and we will plan better for it. After we came home, we took a nap. How sad is that.

Ir is around the time for my period, so I am waiting . As far as I know, it may come today. I hate the few days before my period. I am a little grumpy, a little wiped out, and I do not want to deal with stuff. On the bright side, it is one step closer to getting started with IF treatment. I guess that is something. This waiting is driving me up a wall.

I play with robots tomorrow at work. I also have to deal with a pompous surgeon. I know, they are all sort of pompous, but some are in a class by themselves. It also means that I have to show up early two days in a row. My little GYN surgeon is doing a robot case on Tuesday, and I will be assigned to that. Hopefully that is all the robot cases I will have to do for the week. I am crossing my fingers. but I am not expecting a whole lot.

Random Tag

Jess at Life in the White House tagged me for this sort of random activity..

Here are the tag rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you

2. Post the rules on your blog

3. Write 6 random things about yourself

4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them

5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog

6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.


Here are six random things about myself.

1. Hubby and I met on a blind date my freshman year in college. I met one of his roommates earlier in the week who set me up with Hubby that weekend. We have been together ever since. I think we both knew quality when we see it.

2. I grew up Presyterian, but I currently attend Quaker meetings. The Quaker meetings seem to fit where I am in my life right now. It is also really nice to start your week with some quiet time.

3. Yellow is my favorite color. I love bright bold colors in general. I find I am a little sensitive to color, and I prefer to be surrounded by happy bright shades and tones. I suspect this is a legacy from my mother.

4. I am sort of addicted to romance novels. Jayne Ann Krentz and Jennifer Crusie are a couple of my favorites. I am sort of picky about them, though. I find I like the heroine to be smart, and I love to have the hero suffer. I love the fact that the plot is always the same, and I do not have to put a lot of thought into reading them.

5. I am exhausted right now. I had call last night and I was called in around midnight. They only needed me for an hour. They did let me come in late this morning, and I was in a really nice room. I guess it was not all bad. but I am still really tired. And I have to work 12 hours tomorrow. Ah, the life of an OR nurse. I think I signed on for the glamor.

6. I am an oenophile, and I love having my glass of wine at night. I cannot drink wine when I am on call, but otherwise, wine is a regular part of my diet. I mostly drink red wines. But I drink white wine in the summer, sometimes.


Now I have to tag six people...

1. Emily at Apron Strings For Emily Just because I think she is great.
2. Andrea at Are You Listening? Because I think she needs something to do.
3. Bec at Egg Riot. Because I want to get to know her better.
4. Trace at One Hardy Swimmer. Just because she is so cool!
5, Portaits in Sepia because I just love that blog.
6. Deborah at Waiting on Life, just cause she is yet another wonderful woman!

Thanks Jess, that was fun!

Down the Wine Trail

To celebrate our 12th anniversary, I wanted to go visit wineries in SW Va. This past weekend, they had a progressive wine pairing at local wineries. Hubby and I visited a lot of vineyards and drank a lot of great wines. It was a beautiful day, as well.

I will apologize because I cannot upload the few pictures we took. Stoopid computer!

The first winery we went to was AmRrien Wine Cellars. It was the closest to Roanoke. Really pretty, and the wine was wonderful I bought a lovely white here. Very yummy! They also have dinners under the stars of Fridays in August. Dinner for two and bottle of wine at a reasonable price. I think we may be back for a date night.

We also went to Villa Appalachia, a cute little Italian style winery. They had some nice wines, too. I bought another white here. Virginia grows better whites than reds, so it is probably not surprising I bought white wine. This was a really cute winery. They had some beautiful gardens.

We also went to Chateau Morrisette, the largest winery in the region, I think. They felt more like an amusement park than a winery. I liked the smaller wineries better. I tasted their wine, which is really nice. I can buy their wine at the grocery store, though, so it was not as interesting as some of the other places we visited.

Some of my favorite places on the tour were not actually wineries at all. Foggy Ridge Cider made hard ciders. I had never had hard ciders before, and Hubby and I were both pleasantly surprised. Very yummy! I highly recommend the First Fruit cider. It was clean and crisp and very delicious. I think we may have to go back again.

We also vistited a meadery. I have never had fermented wine. Hubby and I tend to drink drier wines, so some of the meads were a little too sweet for us. They had one mead which was like drinking honey. Very rich and very sweet. It also had a lovely golden color. The meads were interesting to try. And the name was too cool. Blacksnake Meadery. How cool is that! Their Hoppy Bee Brew was actually quite nice, so we took home a bottle.

All in all a nice drive through beautiful country, with alcohol. What better way to celebrate our anniversary than for me to get drunk, and let Hubby take advantage? Good times!