I had a hard time getting to sleep last night. It always seems like right before you go to sleep is when I start to worry about things. Last night I was worried about work. I really hate the uncertainty with not having a job, having to do COBRA, and not knowing what I will be doing. I am trying not to be obsessed, but it is difficult.

I was thinking about my old job last night. There are things I like about that job. I like the people I work with. I like the fact that I can get benefits. I like being an OR nurse. Some of the surgeons I could take or leave, and the hours sort of suck, but overall I liked the work I was doing. I felt like I was doing something good. If only management was not as abusive to their employees, it would not be a bad place to work. They are more concerned with the bottom line in the short term than keeping employees around for a long time. I think about four of my co-workers have left or are leaving since I have been out on leave. That does not sound good to me. It sounds like things have gotten worse since I left. I am a little temped to tell them to shove it and just try to find work elsewhere. They still have not contacted me about work, and I re-applied two weeks ago. If they were desperate to have me back, they would have contacted me sooner, I would think.

The teaching position with the benefits has not contacted me, either. I am not sure whether that is because they are just slow, or if they do not want to hire me. It would be nice to know something either way. I am trying to be relaxed about it, because I am not sure I want to work there either. It would be long hours of teaching, and I would not get paid for any prep I do. With my old job, I could leave it at work, and have nothing outside of work.

I am also considering applying for adjunct teaching positions at local community colleges. These positions do not have benefits, but Hubby is willing to try to get health insurance independently. Which is possible since FIL paid off the mortgage. Adjunct teaching would be great because I could get away with not going in for an entire day. It just does not pay worth a damn. I like having a lucrative career, but I also like being able to spend as much time with AC possible. It is a bit of dilemma, but I think adjunct teahing is worth pursuing to see what comes of it. I just have to find the time to work through the state application.

I have given up a search for child care until I know what the hell I am doing. My mother is only willing to care for him under certain conditions, and I do not know if those conditions will be met. I really hate the uncertainty, but I am enjoying the time with AC.