Walk before you can run.

I went to the gym today. It is the only way for me to get a workout of any kind, and I need to get rid of this pregnancy weight. The gym has a nursery! Hooray!

I did not do much. I spent 25 minutes on the treadmill. Walking. Not running, but walking. And it right about killed me. I was not expecting that. But when I thought about it later, it makes sense. I spent almost all of my third trimester resting and gestating, and then I had a cesarean and had to recover from surgery. It is no wonder I am weak and need to start slow. I just need to stop being so hard on myself and work on it. I can exercise, just not as hard as I used to. I can get there, it will just take more work than I expected.

I just hate being weak. I used to be strong. I was starting to run before I got pregnant. I was able to move and use my body. OR nursing is very physical, and that was part of what I enjoyed about the job. It is an adjustment for me to realize how weak I am. I need to change my expectations, and think about how I treat myself. I can be strong again, it will just be a journey to get there.


I wanted to thank everyone for all your comments on my last post. We are going down to see MIL Thursday evening. I think we feel like we are forced into this trip, and that is not how we wanted to make our first trip with the baby. We will do it, because his side of the family want to see the Little Dude, and they are obviously unable or unwilling to get out here. But the trip will come with mixed feelings. Frustration at feeling like we are rushed into our first trip. Annoyance because it is a pain in the butt to go out there. (We have to clear our calendars, board dogs, get a hotel room, make the trip, and then drive 30 minutes from the hotel to family, and then make the trip back, and pick up the dogs. No rest for the weary.) Fear about how the baby will do. It is a totally new situation, and Hubby's family are loud. They all talk at once, and they all try to be the one who is heard. It can be totally overwhelming. I am afraid that it will be too much for the Little Dude. I hope he does well, but I am scared that he will be terrible. The trip out there is only half the battle. They also may not understand some of what I do with my baby. But it is my baby, and we have what works for us. They do not have to live with him. I hope he gets the naps he wants. He generally naps several times a day.

There is also happiness and celebration as Hubby's side of the family meets the newest member. I know they are all excited to meet the baby. There is that. He is a cute baby. (Not that we are biased.) There is something special about a baby.