Frustration.

There is a lot of frustration at our house tonight.  We have issues with my parents as weekend child care providers.  What we need and what my mother is willing to provide are not the same.  She is not even willing to listen to what we need, and will not bend at all for us.  Every time I have asked for something simple, like a little extra time or if they are willing to pick him up, she come down on me like a ton of bricks and conclusively states that she is not willing to do that.

All Hubby and I want is a couple hours at the house with out the baby.  That could be easily achieved if they were willing to pick him up from our house.  They generally take him somewhere as soon as we get there, anyway, so it does not seem like a big deal to me.  But when I asked, my mother indicated that she was not willing to change how the evenings go.  Honestly, at this point I am tired of asking.  We want more, and she is not willing to give it.  She does watch him during the week, and that is all she seems willing to do.  So that is all she is going to do.  If she wants to do more, she will have to come to us.  I am done trying to make it work.

On top of this, Gertrude has not been doing well.  She has been having a lot of urinary incontinence.  She has been wetting the couch, and we have been washing covers and dog throws almost daily.  I did take her to the vet, and she does not have a UTI, and she is not spilling sugar.  So it is not diabetes.  But she has lost about 15 pounds, and her urine was very dilute with some protein.  I think that is part of the problem.  The vet did draw labs, but I have not heard back.  I am hoping that it is something treatable and not cancer.  The vet did not feel a mass, so I am holding out some hope.

Oh, and I started my new job last week.  That is pretty nerve wracking.  And it is getting close to the end of the semester, so I have a final push of work.  And the Baby has been sleeping poorly.  I have been up several times a night tending the baby.  I have a lot going on, and I am doing it all without sleep!

I hate it when too many things go pear shaped at the same time.  I feel like a failure as a mother and wife.  None of the things that have gone wrong are my fault, and there is nothing I can really do about any of it.  But it is frustrating that all Hubby and I are able to do are quickies after the baby goes to sleep.  We need regular afternoons at the house by ourselves.  I think we could sacrifice some of our dinners out if we had some afternoons to reconnect.

I think the time has come to find ourselves a babysitter.  Hopefully someone who would be willing to watch the baby at their place or our place...