Energy Suck

Little Guy has been a real energy suck recently.  It is very frustrating.  The time I do have away from him, I have not wanted to blog because I just want to sit in my own space.

We are in the middle of separation anxiety.  I cannot leave him for anything.  He cries and gets really upset.  I know it is normal, and I am doing all the "right" things.  Saying a perfunctory, "Mommy loves you and misses you while she is gone.  I will see you later.  I love you!"  And then quickly leaving.  And breathe a sigh of relief that I did it, and try to move on.  So hard.

When he is with me, I have to be right there with him.  Most of the time he will follow me if I have to do something.  The trouble is that he is into everything!  I cannot leave him alone even for a second, or he will get into something he is not supposed to be into.  G-d forbid I try to take it away, either.  He will pitch a fit.  I have started putting him in his crib if he is inconsolable and unable to be distracted.  I know he is safe in there, and the worst he does is throw everything out of the crib.  I get him out when he has calmed down and is better able to be distracted. 

But the tantrums are horrible.  He will tantrum at the drop of a hat, and of course, I am supposed to stay calm every time he throws a fit.  (Like every five minutes.)  Because I am the parent and all that.  It just gets hard because after a couple hours of tantrums, I lose my calm.  I get frustrated because there is no way I can console him, and he refuses to be distracted.  I am exhausted by the end of the day.

Lately, I think the straw which broke the camel's back is Hubby's grouchiness.  Hubby has been grouchy for one reason or another lately.  While he does not tantrum like the toddler, he will complain more and get frustrated more easily.  

It just feels like I cannot win lately.

I wanted to thank you all for the comments on my last post!  I really appreciate the encouragement!  I will continue to run, as it helps with the stress of the day.  I am progressing really slow, though.  Hubby thinks I should work on speed first, but it makes more sense to me to work on increasing distance first.  Yes, I am very slow.  But hopefully by starting slow, I can keep good running form and hopefully prevent injuries down the line.  At this point, I am not concerned with winning anything.  I just want to finish something!

I want to try to get out with the jogger at least three times this month.  I do not think that is a lot to do.  It may not happen at all until next week.  We will see how it goes.