Thursday, September 25, 2008

Stupid me!

There are times when I can be really jerky and idiotic. I was that way this past week. I was impatient and blind and insulting with someone who I really need to be able to work with. Now I am in self-flagellation mode because I was so stupid and careless with this co-worker. I just want to hide my head in the sand and make it disappear. Unfortunately, I cannot do that. I have to find a way to make this work. I am trying to be more patient, but it does not come easily. We work completely differently. I am a little anal and like things a certain way. She is not nearly as organized (it appears to me.) She moves a little slower, and she has different priorities. Some of her priorities are dictated by her position, but they conflict with my priorities at times. I am afraid I also got a little cocky. Not good. I am still new in comparison to many of the people I work with. I think the events of the past week have opened my eyes to a lot of things I was doing wrong. That is good, I think. Now I can accept them and deal with them. Hopefully I will be able to get over this without too much trouble. I hate feeling like an idiot and stupid, though.


annacyclopedia said...

Hey girl! I lost track of you when you moved cause I am lame and lazy and hardly ever add new feeds to my Google Reader. So I was going through old posts of mine and realized how much I missed you! I have lots to catch up on, but just want to say that I can SO relate to this post. I think it takes a lot of courage even to have the insights that you share here, so I know you can make it right and work through this with your colleagues. It is a huge thing to be able to really see your own shortcomings and admit to them - so difficult and so scary, sometimes. I'm proud of you for opening your eyes to this, and I wish you all the best with working through this stuff.

Will go and add you to my Reader immediately!

Queenie. . . said...

Don't be too hard on yourself--who hasn't been there? It's so hard to mesh with people who go at things in a completely different way. I think my perfect job would be to be a dictator of a small island nation. That way, I wouldn't have to deal with anyone else's work style, and I could direct everything from my cabana on the beach, with a frosty drink in hand.

~Jess said...

I think we're all guilty of this at some time or another. I know I am. I think acknowledging it is what makes it easier to accept in all of us.