Tuesday, September 20, 2011

New Post at the New Digs!

I have a new post up over at the new blog.

http://vablondie.wordpress.com/2011/09/20/expectations-again/

Don't forget to update bookmarks and readers!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Taking Action.

I do not just talk, I do!  I know that I am going to lose readers with the move.  That is a fact of life.  But my blog has always been a personal thing for me, and I will be better able to grow as a blogger with WP.

I have new digs over at wordpress!

`http://vablondie.wordpress.com/

Come on over and take a look around!

Friday, September 16, 2011

Thinking about it...

I am thinking of making the move to wordpress.  I am fed up with the blogger comment system, and third party comment systems are not working for me.  I just feel too separated from my readers.  I have played with wordpress a little bit, and it seems like it would be a good move.  I will be better able to respond to comments, and the blog would be able to grow with me.  I just need to play with it enough to get a blog set up the way I want.  Hopefully it will happen over the next week or two.

I had my first run with my other moms on Thursday.  It was good.  I liked how it felt to run with other moms.  It felt good.  Looking forward to the run next week.  The pace was good, and I probably could have run longer, but I did not want to overdo.  Now I really ought to sign up for the race.

I have been recording food with WW again.  I may even have a IRL person I can get support from.  That will hopefully help both of us stick with it and succeed.

My weekend is going to be slow.  No babysitters are available, so we are doing date night at home.  But our stay-cation is next week, so we will get more time together then.

Hope your weekend is relaxing and fun!

Now I am going to enjoy the last of nap time while it lasts.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Naptime battles. Again.

I know this child is tired, but he will not go to sleep.  I have spent the past hour waiting for him to get tired and go down for a nap.  The only way he will remotely be sleepy is in my lap sucking on an empty boob.  I did not have the patience to deal with that today.  At least not until I had something to eat.

I finally decided just to put him in the crib and let him cry, as that seems to be the only way today.  He fell asleep in the car on the way home from playgroup, and he got just enough sleep to make him feel more awake.  I hate it when that happens.  So I have escaped downstairs where the crying is not nearly as loud.  Apparently it is the end of the world that he is in the crib by himself, awake. 

I suspect I am going to have to go in there and get him out and let him sit in my lap until he actually falls asleep.  Because he is still crying hard enough to bring the house down. Sigh.  But I am going to finish my lunch first.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Touchy Feely Tuesday.

  • I finally manged to run a 1/2 mile.  It was probably one of the slowest 1/2 miles ever, but I did it!  I actually ran three 1/2 mile stretches today during my work out.  Gives me hope that I can actually do a 5K by Thanksgiving.  Especially with training.
  • Grocery shopping was a mess today.  My mother had a hair appointment this morning, but she still wanted to watch Little Guy while I shopped.  So the store was crazy by the time I go there.  It was senior discount day, so the older set was out in force.  I managed it, but I forgot a few things, so I still have to go back and get the things I forgot.  At least I got most of it.
  • I know there was other stuff I wanted to talk about, but that is all I can remember. 

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Saturday Night Musings.

We are having a date night at home tonight, and Hubby is off getting provisions. BWW and alcohol.  One advantage to date night at home is that everyone can get a little tipsy, and no one needs to worry about driving home.  Just sayin'.

I think I may have one of the most active children in my mother's group.  My guy was the first to take off running, and he ran off twice as much as any of the other children.  One mother of another active boy told me that she thought her child was bad, and then she saw my child.  Sigh.  I guess that is the cross I have to bear.  Maybe the next child will not be as active?  We can only hope?

The baby wearing play group was a success!  Everyone wants to do it again next month.  I am pretty excited.  I think it went really well.  The mothers who tried carriers really liked them.  Hopefully I converted a couple of people.

I am also excited about training for a 5K.  There is interest in my mother's group to train for it, and I am going to do it.  I was already running, anyway.  This will just keep me motivated and on track.  Hopefully.

We meant to take Little Guy to the zoo today, but Hubby made a wrong turn.  Instead, we took Little Guy on a walk on a trail  I learned about recently.  (Um, from my mother's group, incidentally.  I sense a trend...)  It is a really nice trail, and we think that we need to go there with the dogs sometime.  Now that we have the minivan, we have room to take the baby and the Great Danes.  I think we are both pretty excited about it.

Surprisingly, both Hubby and I enjoy driving the minivan.  The sienna is really fun to drive.  It feels big, but it does not feel like you are diving a van or a truck.  All of us really like it.

I finally figured out how to download library books to my nook.  Thank goodness!  That will help me not spend as much for books for my nook.  I am on my third book from the library.  All free, and I did not have to go to the library to check them out.  Love it!

Off to put my feet up on the couch and enjoy a night in with the Hubby!

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Priorities

I think this fall I am going to look at priorities and only spend time on those things which are good for me.

I really want to try to make myself a priority.  Both physically and spiritually.
I plan to try to continue with my running goals.  I will really try to run three times a week.  It should be do-able, as I am at the gym twice a week for swim lessons, and I can get there at least once on the weekend.  I may also try to swim once a week, too.  That feels good.  I may also train with other mothers in my mother's group for a 5k run on Thanksgiving.  Hopefully that will keep me motivated.

I also want to get back to church.  Get religion back.  I have sort of missed being involved in church stuff. And my weeks go a little better when I go to church.  There is a Sunday school class I am interested in attending.  They have nursery during Sunday school, so it could work.  It would mean switching the day I do my grocery shopping, though.  I may try to do it Tuesday.  My mother has volunteered to watch him while I grocery shop, when she is in town.  When she is not in town, I can use the carrier and go early-ish in the morning.

I also want to stay involved in my mother's group.  Which means dropping some activities for Little Guy.  Like story time, which was a fail.  He is way too physical at this point.  He was into everything except the story.  Sigh.  So I am not doing it any more, which allows me to do more things with my mother's group.  That will be good for me, as it gives me a support system.  And better for Little Guy, as we can do more active stuff.

I know there was something else I wanted to write about, but the baby woke up from his nap when the dog barked at nothing.  Baby has been crying off and on for the past half hour as I wrote this blog post.  He really needs more sleep, but I do not think it is going to happen.  Stupid dog, ruining a good nap time.  It was awful putting him down this afternoon, and now he will be tired because his nap was too short.  Mommy is not happy.  Off to get him up...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Touchy Feely Tuesday

  • Still really liking the new minivan.  Had no idea that the sliding door windows came down.  Not only do I have automatic sliding doors, the windows on those sliding doors open.  What won't they think of next?
  • August was hell on my weight and on my running goals.  I am back to running a little over 1/4 mile.  Does not help that I have a small cold.  I think it is a cold.  It could have been the zyr.tec.  Starting to feel better now that I am taking something different.  Hopefully alle.gra will not be so bad.
  • Had a lovely Labor day.  I had the day off and got to be a little lazy, or at least as lazy as a 20 month old will let me.  My parents took Little Guy to the park in the morning, and we took him to the pool in the afternoon.  He slept well.
  • Today was sort of a light day.  I went to the gym this morning, and then we visited my parents.  After nap, we wandered around the wal.mart.  That is about it, really.
  • My first play group with my mother's group is this Friday.  I think I am going to have people show up, as one person has already RSVP'd.  If not, I am not going to sweat it.  
  • Our first story time is this Thursday.  Not sure what to expect, but it is for 18-24 month olds.  Other mothers say that it is a lot of fun.  We will see.  I am a little concerned that Little Guy will not take direction well, as he is wont to do.  At least I am not out any money if it does not work out.
  • Swim lessons start next week.  That should be a lot of fun.  He loves the pool!
  • I think that is enough bullets for this week.  September seems to be getting into gear!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Finally made it to September.

But it was close! I think August was trying to do me in.

This week brought an ear infection, and my period. Fun times over here.

Things are starting to look up, though. We now have a new baby sitter to add to our small list of sitters. She is sitting for us this Saturday. Our first weekend date night in a month! Both of us are looking forward to it.

I also have labor day off, so I only work one day next week. Hooray for holidays!

I actually managed to take the jogger stroller out. Finally. Unfortunately, it was over 80 degrees, there was a big hill at the beginning (and end) of my route. Jogging outside is a completely different experience than jogging on a track. And trying to manage the stroller on top of that! Needless to say, I did not run a whole lot, though I tried. I did get in about 2 miles overall, so it was still a bit of a workout. I may try a different trail and see if that works. I also may try somewhere I can let Little Guy play on a playground after the run. It is only fair. And it may give me a chance to stretch after my run, which makes my body feel better. Need to think on this more...

I am going to try to hit the gym this afternoon. Considering he is just getting to sleep for his afternoon nap, I think that fits in well with the gym's schedule. It is much easier on my body jogging without the stroller. At I can just zone out at the gym. Then we can hit the pool for a little swim time!

I also hacked my blog a bit. I am trying a hack which will allow me to reply to comments directly. So if you get email from me or my blog, that is why. If I do not like it, I may remove it. But I do think it is stupid of blogger not to have that option for the comments. Overall, I love blogger, except for the inability to respond directly to the people who comment on my blog. That is about the only reason I would move to wordpress. I like how wordpress shows all the conversations in the comment section, too. Why is blogger so resistant to conversations in the comment sections?

Anyway, I am really glad this week is almost over. I get to go to the zoo tomorrow morning, and then our housekeeper comes and cleans our house! I love having a clean house. Even if it is only clean for 5 minutes.

Monday, August 29, 2011

And this week starts with....

An ear infection. Sigh. I am so over August at this point. I want it to be September so badly, I keep thinking that next month is October.

It can only get better, right? The silver lining to today is that I got an unexpected day off to take the Little Guy to the doctor. I got caught up on some chores and baked chocolate chip cookies. So the day was not a complete loss. And I get Labor Day off.

Tomorrow I have to redo my pap, which was unable to be done at the time of my yearly appointment, because of AF. Hopefully the appointment will not take too long, and Little Guy will go down for a nap in the afternoon.

I am vetting a new sitter with the baby and dogs on Thursday. Hopefully she can sit on Saturday. Our date nights are important to our marriage. It gives us a space to be husband and wife rather than mommy and daddy. And we really need that, so our date nights are more than a luxury. I know that we are lucky, and not everyone can do this. I highly recommend getting a sitter, even if it is once every few months. Fingers crossed that we can get a sitter this weekend...

Friday I have a play date with a mother from my mother's group. We are going to the zoo. I think it is more a play date for the mothers rather than the kids. I think she may have one child around Little Guy's age, but I suspect her children are older.

I actually really love my mother's group. They are very open and inclusive. They even asked me to share my knowledge of baby wearing and lead a playgroup which includes baby wearing. They all really believe that that only way to make motherhood happen successfully is to support each other. But there are times (like when a mother announces she is TTC) where I can really see how my perspective is rather different. Infertility really skews your point of view.

I have been driving the Sienna for about a week, and it still sort of feels like a rental car. Everything is so new and then there are all the toys! Bluetooth, XM, and power sliding doors! It is a little unreal that the car is really mine and I do not need to give it back. My mother thinks I should name the car. Nothing comes immediately to mind, though I sometimes think of it as Behemoth, as it is so big. Mini-van is a bit of a misnomer. Minivans these days are not small.

I wish everyone a good week!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

I give up.

I am just going to focus on getting through the end of the month. August is such a weird month, and something always seems to go screw-y during the month.

It was another weird week. Maybe it was the earthquake and the hurricane threat.

Monday we managed to pick up the minivan. But it took forever, and the baby got to sleep later than usual. Which meant a cranky baby until we could get him home and in bed. Sigh.

Tuesday I had an appointment with my plastic surgeon during Little Guy's nap time. I was sort of rushed because I had a mother's group thing I wanted to attend.

Wednesday I worked.

Thursday I managed to get the day wrong for my hair appointment. Turned out all right, though. She managed to fit me in. Thank goodness.

Thursday was also the only day we were able to get a sitter. So our date night was unexpectedly early this week.

Oh, and I have been purging stuff from closets all week. That has felt really good, and I managed to find my old mac. I have started using that more than the netbook. But the old mac has its downsides, too. It is an older OS, and it is slooow. Still better than the netbook with windows OS which seems to be restarted for an update several times a day. (OK, maybe the netbook only needs to be restarted once a day, but it is still more than the mac OS.)

The track has been closed all week, and I do not have the jogger. I noticed today that the track will be closed part of this week, too.

I know that there are some great things that happened over the past couple of weeks. (New car, Monday off, found my old mac. And I planned a play date with another mother from my mothers group.) But the little stuff is getting me down.

Maybe it is just the time of year.

I am just going to make it through the next week, and restart in September. I have good stuff planned for September. Story time at the library, swim lessons, play dates with my mother's group. The track should be open again, and I can run.

I am even going to try my hand at making some footed sleepers for Little Guy. I cannot find any toddler footed sleepers which are not fleece and fit normally. It is driving me a little batty. He does not sleep with a blanket, and the footed sleepers keep him warm when our nights get cool. And the sleeper is harder to take off than any of the two piece pajamas. (That way I get to change crib sheets less.)

Knit footed sleepers seem like something many toddler parents would love to have. So, Why cannot not find these in toddler sizes anywhere other than old navy?

I hope your August is better than mine.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Going to hell.

Because the road to hell is paved with good intentions...

I intended to keep up with running this month. I was going to use a jogger I borrowed from my mother and try to run outside. Not so much. The track at the gym is closed this week, and I have not been able to get over there to use the pool. When I did have the jogger, all I managed to do was put air in the tires. I know, it is pretty sad. Running is mostly about persistence, so I really need to keep running. I promise to keep at it and not give up.

I have not kept up with WW lately. I really meant to start recording after my crappy week, but I still have not started back. Sigh. And I am going to put it off some more. Just because I am lazy.

Probably the thing I feel worst about, though occurred at my mother's group yesterday.

One of the mothers was all excited that she had removed her IUD and was going for a second child. She was all excited about the upcoming pregnancy. I wish her all the best, and I hope she does get pregnant quickly. The alternative is not very fun, I would know. Don't worry, I did not say anything to spoil her excitement. (And I do think she is allowed to be excited. Really!) I went with the old adage, and did not say a word. There were other mothers there who could be excited with her.

I did not say anything, mainly because I was green with jealousy. I wish it was that easy for us. It really sounds like fun. Have sex, make a baby. What a concept! But I have not even had to prevent pregnancy, because the chances of me getting pregnant are slim to none. Probably closer to none, given our history. Sex for us has nothing to do with procreation. Though it is fun.

And now I get to watch this woman turn up pregnant in a couple of months, and I should probably be all excited about it. Because that is what is expected. But pregnant women still sort of wig me out a little. Maybe because it is another reminder of what should come easily, but does not. It makes me think about what I need to do to get pregnant.

The experience did seem to highlight differences in fertile vs infertile women. There is definitely an innocence about women who have not had to deal with infertility. They can start out thinking everything is rosy and nothing bad is going to happen. And more often that not, nothing bad does happen. Whereas I, like many infertiles, are rather cynical about the entire process. Maybe even a little bitter about what we have lost. We do not have that opportunity to throw caution to the wind and just go for it. We need a team of highly trained medical professionals in order to even have a shot at getting pregnant. And we know that every cycle is a crapshoot. Most of ART only puts us on a level playing field with everyone else, and something is bound to go wrong with our cycle. That seems to be the way the world works for us.

That is not to say that infertiles do not have fun with various ART procedures. Though I suspect that there is a good layer of cynicism to the humor. Who would not be able to laugh at hormone pills, injections, and suppositories? After a while, it becomes your normal.

I guess the hardest part of the small exchange was that I was not able to pretend I was a part of the group of "normal" mothers. TTC is so far from my reality that I really could not connect and contribute to the conversation. I think that is what made me saddest of all. I am just starting to get comfortable with being a mother. Now I have to deal with being lapped again.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Purging.

I spent my free day moving stuff out of the house, and moving stuff around the house. Not furniture, stuff. We have accumulated a lot of stuff with the baby!

I forgot how exhausting purging can be. I feel really tired. I made numerous trips up and down the stairs today. There was a lot of stuff located in the main living area which really needed to be moved out. There was stuff in the basement we needed to get rid of. I even moved moved some of the baby toys into the storage room in an effort to rotate toys and have fewer toys in our living space. (They were toys he was not really playing with right now, so I doubt it will be too big a loss. It is not permanent, anyway.) I even sold a couple of baby things we were not going to use to the consignment shop. And I threw a bunch of stuff out. It was a good day.

The interesting thing about this purge is that nothing in the house changed outwardly. All the furniture and most of the big things are still there. I just moved out stuff from closets. I also got rid of some of the little piles of clutter, which I have not had time to deal with. I think the house feels a little better. There is still a long way to go. There is still a lot of clutter in the house.

But I made a step in the right direction. And it felt good. I think I can breathe a little easier. And maybe I will have the motivation to tackle a closet or drawer during nap time one day.

I even have time for a short break before going to pick up the baby!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

I think I see the light!

I finally have a computer again. Thank goodness! I think I was going through computer withdrawal. Though it is not a mac, much to my disappointment. It is a cute little Toshiba netbook, though. Now that I have everything set up, I am much happier. But damn windows is difficult! Why, oh why does windows have to be a pain in the ass to use? When I am installing a program, I do not want to have to OK every damn step in the process. Just install the software. I know that it will probably change a few settings. I am fine with that!

Anyway, I have a computer again. And I am happy.

The other nice thing is that I get the day off from work on Monday. That never would have happened in my old job. I am really looking forward to the day off. I plan on putting the baby in day care and catching up on errands I have been putting off. I may also do something about the toy situation. And work out. And walk the dogs.

I get a new car on Monday! It feels very strange. I have not told many people about getting a new car. Not sure why. Maybe because it does not seem that real. But Hubby and I are both really excited about it. We cleaned out the jeep in order to make the transfer that much easier. I am really excited about the new sienna! I will try to take pics this week and show it off a little.

What is what is happening over here. I hope everyone has a good start to the week!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Crap.

The verdict is in on my computer. My 2 year old macbook pro is fried. They managed to save the harddrive, but the water my toddler dumped on it destroyed it. So I am now computerless. Unfortunately, I do not know if I can afford anoher mac. I suspect I have a PC in my future. Much to my disappointment. I love mac computers.

I heard this news after a sucky day at work being extra again. I am starting to get rather frustrated. The people who make the assignments do not seem to care about preferences. It sort of feels like they are not going to let me circulate again. It is rather wearing.

Just feeling rather down today. Hoping tomorrow will be better. At least I do not have to work.
Off to lose myself in a romance novel.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Touchy feely Tuesday

My computer is now in the shop. I am really hoping that I will not need a new one. I really miss it. The touch screen is just not the same. Though this experience is forcing me to explore the capabilities of my phone and my nook. So I guess it is not all bad. I am not nearly as crippled as I would have been a couple of years ago. Still miss my computer, though.

FIL is buying me a minivan. So excited. The sienna is great value, so I get lots of cool stuff, like bluetooth and rear facing camera to help me back up. Not to mention all wheel drive, and it it much cheaper than the honda minivan. I think we finally decided on the dark turquoise color. A little funky, and is not gold.

I am the highlighted mother in my mother's group this month. I get to answer a few questions in the newsletter. It will help people get to know me better.

I am seriously thinking about making my own conversion wrap. This wrap has the ease of a mei tei, but with wide straps like a wrap carrier. I think I have the sewing skills to do it. My mei tei body ripped, and I cannot use it any more. I really miss it. The person I got the carrier from is insanely busy. (Obimama on etsy, in case you were wondering. Her slings and carriers are divine!) Maybe someday I will get another carrier from her.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Seriously?

This is not how I wanted to start my week.

I had to do discharges today at work. I know it is part of my job, but I always feel like I am being punished when I am not in the OR.

Then I was unable to work out or walk the dogs. I got sucked into the computer.

Then the baby spllied water on my computer after I got him home from day care. Now my computer does not work. I know I still have internets, but I still geel crippled with my 'puter. I am using my nook to post this. Not optimal.

All is not too bad, though. FIL is buying me a Sienna. So I will have a new car soon.
And I am debating making a wrap conversion sytlle carrier to replace my mei tei.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Energy Suck

Little Guy has been a real energy suck recently.  It is very frustrating.  The time I do have away from him, I have not wanted to blog because I just want to sit in my own space.

We are in the middle of separation anxiety.  I cannot leave him for anything.  He cries and gets really upset.  I know it is normal, and I am doing all the "right" things.  Saying a perfunctory, "Mommy loves you and misses you while she is gone.  I will see you later.  I love you!"  And then quickly leaving.  And breathe a sigh of relief that I did it, and try to move on.  So hard.

When he is with me, I have to be right there with him.  Most of the time he will follow me if I have to do something.  The trouble is that he is into everything!  I cannot leave him alone even for a second, or he will get into something he is not supposed to be into.  G-d forbid I try to take it away, either.  He will pitch a fit.  I have started putting him in his crib if he is inconsolable and unable to be distracted.  I know he is safe in there, and the worst he does is throw everything out of the crib.  I get him out when he has calmed down and is better able to be distracted. 

But the tantrums are horrible.  He will tantrum at the drop of a hat, and of course, I am supposed to stay calm every time he throws a fit.  (Like every five minutes.)  Because I am the parent and all that.  It just gets hard because after a couple hours of tantrums, I lose my calm.  I get frustrated because there is no way I can console him, and he refuses to be distracted.  I am exhausted by the end of the day.

Lately, I think the straw which broke the camel's back is Hubby's grouchiness.  Hubby has been grouchy for one reason or another lately.  While he does not tantrum like the toddler, he will complain more and get frustrated more easily.  

It just feels like I cannot win lately.

I wanted to thank you all for the comments on my last post!  I really appreciate the encouragement!  I will continue to run, as it helps with the stress of the day.  I am progressing really slow, though.  Hubby thinks I should work on speed first, but it makes more sense to me to work on increasing distance first.  Yes, I am very slow.  But hopefully by starting slow, I can keep good running form and hopefully prevent injuries down the line.  At this point, I am not concerned with winning anything.  I just want to finish something!

I want to try to get out with the jogger at least three times this month.  I do not think that is a lot to do.  It may not happen at all until next week.  We will see how it goes.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Running with Babies

I have not posted a lot about my running journey, but I am consistently running.  A good thing for everyone, I think.  I can run almost half a mile at at stretch around our track at the gym.  I suspect I will get up to a half mile in the next couple of weeks.  That is what I am hoping, at least.

I like running at the gym because it is just me running on the track.  I can turn up my music on my ipod and go.  I do not have to worry about keeping up with anyone else.  And it is a fairly large indoor track, at about 1/8 mile.  I have been counting laps, but I may need to switch to keeping track of time.  I get zoned out and forget to count laps.  I guess I need to buy a watch.

But the gym's track will only get me so far.  I have a suspicion that in order to train for a 5K, I am going to have to get outside and run.  I think I have a decent place I can run, not far from my house.  It is a bike trail which follows a river, so I am fairly sure that the going will be mostly flat.  (I am not up for hills right now, and my neighborhood is all hills.  And not small hills, either!)  The trail actually starts at the mall, if you can believe it!

I plan on trying to jog with a jogger stroller.  To start with, I am going to borrow my mother's bob.  That way I do not have to buy it if I find I hate running with a stroller.  I have heard a lot of good things about the bob stroller.  Hopefully I can make it work.  I like that it has the fixed wheel at the front.  And it is the bob with the really big tires, so it can "off road" a little easier.

Why am I telling you this?  Well, I am hoping that you could help me get up the courage to actually get out and run.  I would love to hear about tips and tricks for jogging with a stroller.  How can I run without losing too much of my form?  Is there anything I should beware of?  Any info would help!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Touchy-feely Tuesday

  • Fell off the wagon last weekend with WW.  I gave up because I was not happy about having to take classes for work over the weekend.  And I really did not want to think about it.
  • On the bright side, I got Monday off, so it was not too bad.  And I do not think I went too far off WW.  I still went to the gym when I could. 
  • I cannot believe I am thinking of doing the Drumstick Dash this year.  It sounds like it is pretty low key, as a lot of people walk it.  So it seems like a good one for someone who is unsure about races.  I am aiming for running it.  (Side benefit:  it helps the local rescue mission.)
  • I have a long way to go, though.  I am not quite up to running 1/2 mile at a stretch.  Sigh.  I think what I am going to do is seriously consider it if I can run at least 1 mile.  So we will see.  I need to run more often, though.  At least it gives me a goal, which can be very motivating.
  • Going on a picnic with my mother's group today.  I hope that it is not too hot.  At least it will wear the Little Guy out.  Which is good, because he is napping this morning, so his afternoon nap will be screwed up unless he has a big activity this morning.
  • I work two days in a row this week.  Tomorrow and Thursday.  Sigh.  At least I get it over with.
  • Really need to walk the dogs today.  I have been very irregular about it.  They really do better with a walk.
I think that is all I have for now!

Friday, July 29, 2011

some things never change.

At the ob/gyn office, waiting on the doc.

Babies and children do not seem to bother me anymore.

But pregnant bellies still freak me out.

Summer Camp

Summer Camp Day 29:  If you could live anywhere for one month this summer, where would it be and why? Would you ever unplug from the internet for a month or longer to go on such a trip?

I would love to spend time at the beach.  I like going to the beach and spending a lot of time doing nothing.  Before we had Little Dude, I went every year.  Or at least tried to go.  The Outer Banks is my favorite beach.  But only in the less developed areas, like down toward Avon or Hatteras.  I cannot stand to see huge hotels or condos on the beach.  It rubs me the wrong way, for some reason.

Unfortunately, I think the days of the relaxing beach vacation are behind me.  Vacationing with a child is a lot different.  It is still a lot of work.  Though there is something nice about getting out of town, and just being somewhere different.

I do not think I could unplug completely for a month.  I am too dependent on the internets.  I think both Hubby and I are too dependent on the internet.  Even when we go on vacation, we try to find a place with internet.

See more Calliope's Summer Camp!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Touchy-feely Thursday

Because I forgot to do it on Tuesday.

Everyone is doing better in the house.  We are all sleeping better.  Baby has even slept through the night the past couple of nights.  Not sure where that came from, but I hope it continues.  I feel almost human.  Not expecting much on that, though.  Just trying to appreciate it while I have it.

Doing better with WW recording my food.  The behavior mod has been fun, as I have been able to get a new song the past couple of weeks.  It is getting to be habit to do it once a day.  I still need to work on eating less, but at least I am recording stuff.  Have not been on a scale in a while, though.  So I have no clue if it worked.

I just finished the Trylle trilogy by Amanda Hocking.  I went through it in about a week, and it is probably the reason I have been slacking in the summer camp department.  I would be more fascinated with trolls than vampires.  I have always marched to the beat of a different drummer, I guess.

Speaking of summer camp, I decided to skip the last two day's prompts.  I just do not think that I am a great person to give advice.  There are times when I would weigh in the comments and share my experience, but everyone has different experiences.  What works for me may not work for you.  I also do not watch a whole lot of TV.  I usually go for series that are vastly different than my current life.  I like the escape factor.  Anything else, I just ignore.  So I have no idea how to answer a question comparing my life to TV.

I have a mommy's group outing today.  We are going for a stroller walk on a local trail.  This should be interesting, as I hardly ever use the stroller, and have never taken a long walk with him in the stroller.  I am not sure what to expect.  I usually carry the baby on walks.  But he likes the stroller, and he might do fine.  I am thinking of putting my ergo in the stroller, just in case I need it.  We will see what happens.

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Summer Camp Day 28:  What size family do you come from, what size family do you want, and why?

I come from a typical nuclear family.  My immediate family was mom, dad, my younger sister, and me.  I think it was a good size for a family.  My maternal grandparents, and my aunt were in and out of our lives throughout my childhood.

I liked the childhood I had with a sibling.  I think that is why I want a family of four.
When I was in high school I used to joke that I wanted 2.5 children, which was the average at the time.

Two children are not a huge number, and anything more than three is a little crazy, I think.  I want two children, so that my children can grow up with a sibling.  I know that means going back to the Wizard for more help, and the whole idea of me bring pregnant again freaks out the Hubby.  But at some level I have always wanted two children.  After this one I am done.  Promise.  (If it makes the Hubby feel better, I am even willing to get my tubes tied after the next one, even though I doubt it will matter.)

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

More Summer Camp Ketchup

Summer Camp Day 23:  What are your favorite activities to do on-line? Is there more to do beyond blogging?

My favorite thing to do on-line is blogging and reading blogs.  This is where I spend most of my online time, and I even use google reader.  Second to blogging is googling various subjects in a simulation of research.

There is a lot I do beyond blogging.  Though I do not always blog about it.  I work out regularly, take the baby swimming and go swimming myself, walk my dogs, cooking, shopping, taking the baby to his grandparents, taking the baby on outings like the park, try to attend activities for my mother's group.

Having a very active toddler makes you active by association.  I have just decided to roll with it.  It is probably good for me, too.

Summer Camp Day 24:  What is your dream date? Have you ever dated anyone you met from the internet?

Dream date would be dinner at the fancy steak place in town.  It is fun to dress up every now and again.  I do not get a chance to do it very often. And we have actually done this, and may do this again in the future.  The steak was too good not to do it again.  But we are saving it for a very special occasion.

I have never dated anyone I met on the internet.  I met Hubby about the time the internet was starting to take off.  So I never really got the chance to do any internet dating.

Summer Camp Day 25:  What did you want to be when you grew up? Why and/or how did that change over time?

When I was in high school, I really wanted to be a doctor.  I think I always wanted a "cool" job and doctor sounded like it was interesting to me.  I planned to major in biology, and go to med school right after college.

Once I got to college, I did end up a biology major, but I decided that med school was too much work.  But I loved the sciences.  I loved all the cellular biology I was learning.  So I thought I would go to graduate school.  But I was limited by location.  Hubby and I got married the summer after I graduated, and he was still in law school.  So I had to attend a school nearby. I did manage it, but I was not that thrilled with graduate school.  It is a very lonely existence, and you have to be more in love with your research subject than other people.  Not to mention, it is fairly competitive.  Publish or perish seems to be the motto in graduate school.  So I left the basic sciences.

We also moved back to Virginia so that Hubby could pass the bar and start his legal practice.  I had no idea what I wanted to do.  I ended up going back to my alma mater and getting a graduate degree in education.  Which I sort of felt was a waste of time.  I did not mix well with the other teachers, and I hated teaching in the high school.  Sigh.

So I looked around again.  I worked temp jobs for a while until I figured it out.

And then 9/11 happened.  Which shook up everything.  My parents were in Northern Virginia at the time, which scared me quite a bit.  I  ended up seeing a counselor for a while, and she really helped me figure out a lot of things.  Including my direction in life.  She was the one who brought up nursing school.  I looked into it, and applied at Radford.  And got in.  I felt right, and it came together easily.

And once I started working in the operating room, I realized that I had finally found my people.  I loved the morbid sense of humor, the sarcasm, the cynicism.  I finally fit in.  And OR nursing jobs are almost every where.  So I had no problem getting a job.  For some reason, most nurses do not want to do OR nursing.  It is way better for me, as I really prefer my patients asleep.

So I did end up with what I consider a "cool" job.  It is just not the job I pictured when I was younger.  But it works for me now.

Monday, July 25, 2011

My expectations were not met.

And I am not all that happy about it.

Today started all right, though I ended up taking Little Guy to the cell phone store.  My mom could not do it.  Don't know why I bothered.

Then I ended up shuttling my mom to and from a doctor's appointment because she could not see.  That took the rest of the morning.

She kept trying to talk to me about traveling places with the baby.  That is what set Hubby and I off this weekend.   So I really did not want to talk about it.

Little Guy fell asleep in the car on the way home, and now will not go down for a nap.  And I know he is tired.  He fell asleep in the car.  Idiot.

I have had no time to sit down and set up my replacement phone, and now I have a crying baby who is not happy about going down for a nap.

All I want is a chance to catch my breath.  Without a crying baby in the background, pissing me off.  Apparently that is too much to ask today.

Oh, I forgot to mention that Little Guy woke up at 5 AM.  Um, yeah.  And I still have not recovered from my crappy sleep this weekend.

But Hubby and I have talked, and we are better.  He was just afraid I was slipping into old patterns.  We made up.  But we are both exhausted, because neither of us got a lot of sleep that night.  And Little Guy insists on getting up early. If he is up, everyone else has to be up, too.

And now Little Guy has thrown everything out of the crib and is still crying, and the dog wants in.  I guess I will try nap time again in a bit.  But I am not happy.

Finally, we have successful nap!  Only took about 30 minutes of bawling and tantrum before he finally slept!  I ended up escaping downstairs and turning off the baby monitor.  It gave me the chance to finally get my phone set up again. 

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Can't sleep.

I have been trying to get to sleep for the past hour, without success.

I think it is because I hurt.

My heart hurts.

I feel like my husband does not see me.  Or at least said things meant to hurt.

He told me I was unhappy. 

I guess that is what he sees.

I think that hurt most of all.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Friday Whine

I just need a space to vent.  Feel free to skip this post...

I had a frustrating day today.

Here is what went wrong: 
  • Went to the zoo this morning, right as it opened.  It was too hot to truly enjoy it.  Even the animals looked miserable.
  • Got my replacement phone today, but could not activate it.  I tried several times.  (My current phone is having issues with the touch screen.)  I am going to take in to a store and have them activate it.  But I cannot do that until Monday.
  • Tried to go to the pool, but it was closed when I got there.  Apparently they had to clean up an "accident."  I did run, since I was there.  But the pool would have been heavenly!  I was really disappointed.
  • As we were shuttling cars around this evening, I tried to convince Hubby to go by Chick.fillet to let Little Guy check out in their play area.  But Hubby had a wardrobe malfunction on our way there, so that did not work out, either.
It was not all bad.  Baby did get a nap, and Hubby got home early.  We successfully dropped Hubby's car off to get it inspected.  I even got a summer camp post done.

It just felt like more went wrong today than right.  All the important stuff got done, but I did not get to do any of the fun things which help me get through the day with an active toddler.

Thank goodness tonight is pizza night.  I may have an extra glass of wine, too.

When I was Young...

Summer Camp Day 22:  What is your most beloved childhood memory?

The first ones which come to mind all surround Christmas.  Maybe that is why I could not let Christmas go all together, even during the dark days of infertility.

I still remember waking up before dark on Christmas morning with my sister, and we would creep in to the living room, where the Christmas tree was set up.  The Christmas tree would be lit, and wrapped gifts would be stacked under the tree.  Some years there were large presents out, like a Big wheel, play houses, a set of blocks, or a doll house.  It always looked like magic to me in the dark with the tree lit and the presents underneath.

One of my favorite things about Christmas morning would be the stuffed animals which were left out under the tree.  These stuffed animals were made by my mother, and she left them out for us to play with on Christmas morning.  We got everything from sock monkeys and bunny rabbits, to a 13 foot long snake and an animal straight out of my sister's imagination. My favorite was a large red velvet elephant.  The ears were backed in pink satin.  I think we both got elephants that year.  Not sure what color my sister's was in, though.

Now that I have a little one of my own, I wanted to keep up the tradition of having something out for him to play with before we open presents.  This past year, it was a big yellow dump truck with a large penguin in the back.  He loved the dump truck, but I think the dog gets more out of the penguin.  (The dog likes to carry stuffed animals around.)

Read more summer camp over at Creating Motherhood!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Summer Camp Ketchup

I think I am caught up after this.

Summer Camp Day 20:  What is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you? Did you repay the kindness? Did you blog about it?

This is a tough one for me. 

Do I look at the little things?  Like the time my micro mentor gave me a stained glass angel as I was leaving the program.  She also gave me the advice that I can always go back to school.  Or the card I recieved from a Quacker group member during my cycle, letting me know that I was in their thoughts and they were holding me in the light.  Or the fact that I had several groups praying for me during my IVF cycle.

Or do I look at the bigger things?  The fact that both my parents and FIL helped me to pay off my student loans.  That was a huge weight off my shoulders. 

I think the thing I really want to talk about in response to this question is the fact that FIL paid for our IVF.  Considering he paid for a shared risk program, it was quite an investment. 

FIL is sort of interesting, as I suspect at times he looks for things to help us with financially.  Overall, we are fairly self sufficient.  We do not live outside our means, and we do not expect outside help when we make a big financial leap.  So we are not to bad, money wise.  We just did not have the money to spend on IVF.

But he gave us the opportunity to expand our family. We would not have had that opportunity if he had not paid for it.  I admit there was probably a selfish motivation on his part.  He wanted an heir, he said.  And we do give him the opportunity to see him, whenever they are in town.  He loves all the pictures and stories about him.

But it was a big thing for us to have IVF paid for.  And it did help expand our family.


Summer Camp Day 21:  What names would you NEVER name a child or pet? What name do you wish you had been named? Do you like the name of your blog?

Names are important, I think.  They are part of first impressions.

Pet names are really important, I think.  I would never name a pet Spot, Fluffy, or anything which sounds too much like a pet name.  Though my very first cat I named Rosebud.  Turned out to be a hilarious name, as Rosebud was a big tom cat who was about as un-prissy as an animal can get.  And for full disclosure, during college I had a gerbil I named Sparky.

Usually I will try and give animals a human-sounding name.  Currently, we have Gertrude, Oscar, Maxine and Belle.  Gertrude and Oscar are our Great Danes.  Maxine and Belle are our two cats.

We now have a rule that we cannot name any children after pets.  So none of our children will be named any of the above.  Or Athena, Molly, or Bowzer.  (Though I do not think Bowzer would ever be in the running.  He was an apricot toy poodle who really needed all the help he could get in the masculinity department.)

I actually really like my name.  It is a family name.  I am named for my Grandmother.  (Yes, the one I do not really get along with.)  I have always insisted on going by my full first name, never a nickname.  Which is unusual, as most people with my name go my a nickname or shortened version.  My name is also an "old lady" type of name, which got a little bit of attention during my gerontology rotation in nursing school.  My instructor was discussing old lady names, and my name came up.  As a group, my clinical group turned and looked at me.  I was sitting in the back, trying to look innocent, or least that I had no idea what they were thinking.  I thought it was sort of funny.

I love the name of my blog.  Do without doing is a concept in taoism.  Basically, it says that if you do not push things, you will end up where you need to be.  You will get there eventually, so enjoy the journey and live in the moment.  I think it is applicable, no matter what I am going through, and something I definitely try to keep in mind.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Summer Camp Ketchup

Trying to catch up with my summer camp post.  Hopefully by tomorrow I will be caught back up!

Summer Camp Day 18:  How do you feel about astrology? What’s your sign, baby, and do you think it matches your personality?

I am an aries, the ram.  It is a sun sign, and to summarize the traits:

(Thanks to astrology-online.com!)

Aries Traits

Adventurous and energetic
Pioneering and courageous
Enthusiastic and confident
Dynamic and quick-witted

  On the dark side...

Selfish and quick-tempered
Impulsive and impatient
Foolhardy and daredevil


For the most part, I guess it does describe some aspects of me.  (At least as well as these things do describe people.)  I would say that I am enthusiastic and confident.  When I am involved in something, I like to take action and really be a part of it.  I think I could be energetic, provided I get enough sleep and work out often enough.  Not sure about quick-witted though.  I have a tendency to miss things as I just do not pick up on them.

I like to think I am slow to anger, but when I get pissed off, I am not nice to deal with. I try to allow for poor first impressions.  (Does not always work.)

I do not think I am selfish, though if you looked at how I mother some people may say so.  I work part time, and send the baby to day care.  Hubby and I go out on dates, and leave the baby with a babysitter.  I encourage Hubby to take the baby out by himself so that I can get some space. All of these things I do for me.

I will say that I am impatient.  I hate waiting, and when I want something, I want it right now.  Waiting drives me crazy because it is so passive.  I want to do something!  Not sit around and wait!

I still remember during nursing school, listening to a presentation by a person who was diagnosed with cancer.  He was also an artist, and he was talking about his work and his experiences as a patient.  He said he would always ask about his assigned nurse's astrological sign.  He usually would try to get an aries, as they are doers.  He wanted someone who would get things done.  I liked that, and that has been true of my nursing practice.  I like to do things, and not wait on things to get done.

Day 19:  How do you (and your partner if applicable) feel about PDA? Does your husband/wife/partner know that you blog and if so are they involved?


I think both Hubby and I are pretty old school about PDA.  Hand holding and occasional touches.  Small kisses are acceptable, too.  I think anything more and we just get embarrassed, for us or the other couple.  Too much, and you should just get a room.

Hubby does read my blog, but is not involved in any way.  He is not really a writer.  That is just not how he expresses himself.  My blog is all my own thoughts and musings.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Touchy Feely Tuesday and Summer Camp catch up (sort of)

I am actually feeling better today.  Which is a minor miracle, as I felt so awful yesterday.  While I am not ready to go out and dance on the tables, I did manage to get my house under control and put something in the slow cooker for dinner.  I also got a head start on lunches for tomorrow.  I think I am doing fairly well.  I may even go to the zoo with the Little Guy later.  (Because he is sick, he is taking a morning nap lately.  Not that I am complaining!)

This week I have to work three days at the OR.  I worked Monday, and I still have to work Wednesday and Thursday.  I have next week mostly off, as my day car provider is on vacation.  But on Friday and Saturday I have to go to classes to renew certifications for my job.  Sigh.  I hate that it is on Friday and Saturday, but it is only one day, and I will see my family in the evening.

Summer Camp Catch up:

Summer camp Day 16:  How many friends of yours blog/tweet/actively facebook? Has social media helped or hurt your friendships?

I think almost everyone I know is on FB, and many are more active than I am.  I will jump on every now and see what is happening, and even update my status.  I do not do it that often.  I think blogging is more important to me than FB.  I have reconnected with some old friends through Facebook, and I even meet regularly with at least one of them.  My mother's group also sends info out through Facebook.  So I guess it does more for me than I thought.

I am on Twitter, but few of my IRL friends are on twitter.  I also am not all that regular about updating my twitter status.  Like facebook, I will occasionally log on, but I do not usually do it every day.  It is sort of fun to see what the celebs I follow are up to.  Other than that, I do not do that much with twitter.

Blogging is where it is at for me.  I have not actually met any of the people I follow.  Though I think it would be fun to meet some of them.  I do not have any non-online friends that blog.  That I know of, at any rate.

That is all I have time for right now.  I hear the Little Guy waking up, and I need to get going!

Monday, July 18, 2011

House of Sick

I have fallen off the wagon with Summer Camp.  Only because I have a cold.  And Little Guy has a cold, and Hubby has a cold.  Which amounts to everyone in the house having a summer cold.

And summer colds are the worst.  They make you feel so miserable, while the weather outside tempts you to come and play.  (Well, mostly.)

At this point all I can do is survive.  Having a cold with toddler in tow is an exercise in energy management.  Because my toddler is not going to let a cold slow him down.

Hopefully I will be back at it by the end of the week.

Right now, every baby-free minute is spent lying down and trying to rest.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Reminiscing about my alma mater!

Summer Camp Day 15:  What was your college experience like? Were you involved in any clubs, groups, etc?

I am one of the few women who actually went to a women's college.  I loved it!  It was the best experience for me.  College is where I truly blossomed as a student.  I found what interested me, and that got me focused and allowed me to do well.

I went to a small liberal arts school called Hollins College.  (Now it is Hollins University, but it will always be just Hollins to me.)  The school had a reputation for attracting a lot of debs and rich girls.  But I was not one of them, as my family was solidly middle class. And then I ended up a science major, which further separated me from the party crowd.

I spent a lot of time the science building, as I was a bio major with a chem minor.  Specifically, I was on the second floor of the science building where all the bio, chem, and physics majors hung out.  We did not get out much, as most of the lectures were in the morning, and labs were usually in the afternoon.  I think I had an 8 AM class every semester.  I just could not get away from it.  The worst was organic chemistry.  I still remember having to be up for organic chemistry at 8 AM Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.  That sort of sucked.  The only bright side was that it did not matter what we looked like, and most of rolled into class wearing pajamas, or something close to it.

I was an RA during my college career.  That was interesting.  My first year as an RA was spent in the party dorm, with upperclass-women.  I think I just tried to keep a low profile and get my requirements in as I could.  My senior year, I ended up RA in the art dorm.  That was actually rather interesting, as we had a lot of dance-bio double majors.  It was also pretty easy, as they had to have programs and dorm meetings on a regular basis.  I had a lot of fun that year, and really enjoyed hanging out with the people in my dorm.  Still keep in touch with a few of them, too.

As far as extracurricular activities goes, I was not on a lot of committees or groups.  But I was involved in varsity fencing.  That was a lot of fun.  I had the best time, and we got to travel to all sorts of places for matches.  If you ever get the chance to try fencing, do it!  Nothing better than beating on someone else with a sword.

I also met the Hubby at college.  I met him my freshman year, and we dated my entire college career.  He even proposed on front quad.  (Which is a big deal if you went to Hollins.)  Hubby and I were set up by one of his roommates on a blind date, early in my freshman year.  I went into it thinking I would at least make a friend, and possibly have someone to buy me alcohol.  (Hubby was a senior when I was a freshman.)  But by the end of the year, we were a definite couple.  I think we had even met each others parents.  We have been together ever since.

I loved going to a women's college, and I am proud of the fact that I went to Hollins.  It gave me opportunities I would not have had at a bigger school.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Everyday People

Child is actually napping this morning.  I honestly do not know what to do with myself, so I thought I would do a quick blog post.  Why not?

Summer Camp Day 14:  How do you typically dress to run errands? Do you think bloggers dress better or worse than “regular people”?

When I run errands, I usually wear a t-shirt and khaki shorts or jeans, depending on the weather.  When the weather is cold, I will wear a sweat shirt or jacket.  Lately I have been wearing the baby, as well.  He is usually in the er.go on my back.  It is just easier to get in and out of a store if I do not have to chase after him, too.

I do not think bloggers dress better or worse than "regular people."  Probably because I believe that bloggers are regular people.  (Whatever that is.)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Best and the Worst

Summer Camp Day 13:  Tell us about the best job you ever had, and the worst. Do you ever blog or read blogs while at work? Do you ever quote or reference blogs while at work?

The best job I ever had was my previous position as an operating room nurse in a level I trauma center.  If it were not for management sucking my soul out of me, and the lack of benefits for the hours I wanted to work, I would probably still be there.  I really enjoyed the work I was doing, and enjoyed the people I worked with.  There was always something going on, and the cases were usually interesting.  Not to mention, the equipment worked (most of the time), and was relatively new.  I left there with mixed feelings, and miss it every now and again.  (I think I get bored sometimes doing the same cases over and over.)  I guess I could always go back to my old job, but I think too much has changed within the department to go back now.  Also, many of the people who I worked with have left and the atmosphere is just not the same.
 
The worst job I ever had was teaching a dual credit at a high school.  I was hired by a community college to teach this class at the local high school.  The high school I taught at was one and a half hours away from where I lived.  I did not fit in with the other teachers.  I hated all the things which got in the way of my class time, such as delayed openings and assemblies.  Once students got a look at me, and realized that they would actually have to work, most of them dropped the class. So the classes were small.  I did not have a block of lab time.  I had to fit it into the class schedule.  It was a thankless position.  I only taught there one year, but it was enough.

In my current job, we do not have computers in every room. (Yeah, we kick it old school at my place of employment!)  So I love my smart phone, where I read blogs on my breaks and over lunch.  I have occasionally posted from my phone at work, but I prefer to post from my computer from home where I am not so rushed, and can concentrate better.

I do not reference or quote blogs at work.  Blogging is personal to me, and not something I share with many people in real life.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Touchy-feely Tuesday

Playing hooky from camp today, because I am just too tired to think a whole lot.

Today I really tried to wear a toddler out, and I think I succeeded.  Unfortunately, I am worn out, too.  This morning we went to the gym, walked the dogs in the heat, and then went to the transportation museum to wander around a bit.  We then went to my mom's house for lunch, and then he went down for a nap.  I went home to do chores and catch my breath before a doctor's appointment.  After my doctor's appointment I brought him home and tried to feed him a snack before swim class.  Then we went to swim class and came home, ate dinner and went to bed.  (Well, he went to bed.  I am blogging before I have my medicinal glass of wine.)

That is a lot to do in one day.  But he was pretty happy and in a good mood most of the day.  Fortunately, this is the last week of swim lessons for a while, so I can drop that soon.  Though the swim lessons are good for him.  He needs to learn to swim, as he loves the water.  I do plan on signing him up again.  I may try a different time next time.  We will see.

I think I do need to keep him busy.  We are definitely dropping the morning nap, though.  Much to my disappointment.  On the flip side, I can now get him out in the morning and the afternoon.  Which opens up some opportunities for us to go on different outings and things.  So it is not all bad.  But I really need him to go down for that afternoon nap so that I can catch my breath.  He is a lot to keep up with! 

I need to find other to find other things for him to do with my mother.  I may email her with this dilemma.  I suspect that we will not get over there as often for lunch, because he is usually asleep by noon.  But we can still come over to visit regularly.  She does like to do things with him, so that could be an option.  It is easier, as his mornings are wide open now.

I have decided to embrace the active lifestyle which comes with a toddler.  It can only help my weight loss.  I am jogging as often as I can, and I am trying to get the Little Guy out of the house every morning and afternoon.  That seems to work the best, as far as napping goes.

Speaking of weight loss, I finally had to admit that I am not really nursing anymore.  Two or three nursing sessions in 24 hours does not seem to count as nursing.  At least weight loss-wise.  I had to switch my WW points to non-nursing, which was sort of depressing, as it took a lot of points away.  But at least now I am seeing the scale going in the right direction.  Between the high level of activity and decreased food intake, hopefully the weight will come off.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Summer Camp Day 11

Summer Camp Day 11:  How are you different from your parents? How are you the same? Do your parents and/or family know that you write on-line?

My parents are very different from each other, so it is probably no surprise that I am a little like both.

My mother is an artist, and she is very right brained.  She has a rather unstructured thought process, that I just cannot follow.  In all honesty, I can say that I have no idea how her mind works.  She is very much a free spirit, and likes to be away from it all whenever possible.  Whereas I am left brained and analytical.  I like things to be logical, or at least have an explanation which makes sense to me. 

It is hard for me to say how I am like my mother, as we are each our own person.  We do share a metabolic issue.  We both have PCOS, and both of us have issues with our weight.  Our strategies for dealing with differ significantly, though.  My mother has food issues, and likes to be able to have unrestricted access to food.  She does try to find foods that are filling and healthy, so she hopefully will not eat too much.  And she will journal her food, which does help her, I think.  I usually turn to WW.  That has worked in the past, and I think it will work again.  I just need to follow the plan.  (Always a catch!)

I am a bit more like my father.  He has a very strong work ethic.  He owns his own business and works hard to keep it going.  He follows through on his commitments.  I love that I can count on him.  If he says that he is going to do something, he will do it.  I think I get my work ethic from him.  Both of us are hard workers. 

My dad is more in touch with his creative side than I am.  When I was younger, he was into music.  He plays guitar and sings in the church choir.  He has gotten into writing the past decade, and that has been a wonderful creative outlet for him.  At the moment my blog is my major creative outlet, though it feels more like a journal to me.  It is a place where I can put my thoughts and feelings, and I do not see it as a creative space.  I keep thinking I should make more use of my camera and take more pictures, and then I forget to take it with me and use it.
 
My family does know I have a blog, though I do not know how regularly they read it.  They do understand it is personal, so they probably do not mention because of that.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Summer Camp Day 10

Summer Camp Day 10:  Share your favorite recipe

I may have a problem here.  I have a hard time following recipes as written.  I feel they are more of a guideline.  I will usually start with the basics and modify the recipe to my tastes.  It usually does not come out much like what was originally written.

I will try to share something that I like to make, though.  I will try to write it so that others can follow it, but I may get the measurements wrong.  This particular recipe is not written down.  I usually put enough enough of each ingredient until it looks right.
If the measurements I share do not look good to you, put as much or as little in as you want.

Rosemary chicken salad

(This has gotten rave reviews at every function I bring it to.  It looks pretty and tastes fantastic.)

1 rotisserie chicken (preferably herb flavored, but any flavor will work.)
1 1/2 cups red grapes, halved
1 cup celery, diced
juice from 1 lemon
3/4 cup mayonnaise
2 Tbsp fresh rosemary  (Must use fresh rosemary!  Dried rosemary does not come out nearly as good.
1 Tbsp kosher salt (or to taste)
1/2 tbsp fresh ground pepper (to taste)

(Optional:  Toasted almonds or walnuts)

Remove chicken meat from rotisserie chicken.  Discard skin and bone
Mix all ingredients together, and let marinate for at least an hour.

Serving suggestions:  Can serve over fresh greens, or in a pita.

Read more recipes over at Creating Motherhood!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Summer Camp Day 9

Summer Camp Day 9:  What is the most important lesson you learned from your own mother (or other primary caretaker)? What do you imagine the name of your Grandmother’s blog would be and what would she write about?

The most important lesson I learned from my mother is how to be creative.  Despite the fact I ended up in the sciences, I enjoy creating things, and I have a healthy respect for the creative process.

My mother taught me that creativity is messy.  I feel that if it is not messy, it is not creative.  I remember painting at our dining room table, and getting paint everywhere.  I remember painting off the edge of the paper on to the table.  My mother also tolerated my foray into acrylics as I got older, which were not so easy to clean up. 

The creative process is generally messy, not only physically, but mentally as well.  Sometimes it is good to just throw ideas out, no matter how crazy they seem.  If nothing else, you voice it as an option, even if it is not viable.

My grandmother is not like my mother, at all.  My husband seems to think that I am more like my grandmother in some ways.  My grandmother comes from the deep south, and is an upstanding member of the DAR.  (That is actually how I got in to the DAR.)  She has a lot of pride, and is very concerned with how others see her.  It is very difficult for her now that she is getting older, and having to be more dependent on others.  My grandmother and I do not get along very well.  We are very polite, but it does not seem to go beyond that.  I think we both have a hard time showing our weakness to each other.  Family is very important to her, and she was very excited when I had Little Guy.

I think the name of her blog would be "Family Ties."  She does think family is very important, and she likes to manipulate those connections sometimes.  I think she would hide a lot about herself, and only put out there what she thought would impress people.  Not very nice, I know, but that has been my experience with her.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Summer Camp Day 8

Just a quick rant before I start.  Feel free to skip if you do not want to read it.

Little Guy is in the process of switching from two naps to one.  I usually give him one chance at a nap in the morning before I am off and running with him the rest of the morning.  He can go down for a long afternoon nap, which I think is really good for him.

This morning, I went to the gym and then I left Little Guy with my mother while I ran an errand.  She wanted to spend time with him.  And I was only going to be gone about an hour, and then we would have lunch and take him home.  That was the plan.

Unfortunately, my mother put him down for a nap while I was gone.  He may have been tired, but I really wish she could have hung with it at least while I was gone.  Then I could have brought him home and he could have had a nap at home.  Instead he got an hour of sleep at my mother's house, and nothing else.  I tried putting him down for an afternoon nap, but I only got an hour of play and fussing while I tried to get my chores done.  I was not a happy camper.

The good thing is that he went down early, so Hubby and I have more time together, once I finish this blog post.  And Hubby brought me wine.  I think I need it tonight!

OK, rant over.  Feel better now.
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Summer Camp Day 8:  If you had to teach something, what would you teach? (If you DO teach, when did you discover your love for teaching/the subject?) Do you think blogs can play a role in education?

I do teach, off and on.  Every now and again I will teach biology as an adjunct at the local community college, which is actually a pretty good gig.  No need to deal with departmental politics.  You get to teach your class and go home.

But.  (You knew that was coming, didn't you?)  Teaching takes a lot of time and effort.  Nursing (RN not BF) is more lucrative, and I do not have to take anything home after working hours.  So nursing is what I am sticking with right now.

Not sure if I am that passionate about teaching.  Not like I am about being an RN.  Teaching is a job, and it is sort of fun, and I am pretty good at it.  I actually have a graduate degree in education, though I do not like to talk about it because I went into education because I did not have anything better to do.  Probably not the best reason to enter a profession.  Through my student teaching and other experiences, I also realized that I do not get along with other teachers.  Maybe I am too much of a cynic.  Nurses as a group are fairly cynical.  Teachers can be cynical, but it is not the same as nurses.  I think nurses are much darker in their cynicism, probably because they see the dark side of everything.

I do not know if blogging could play a role in education.  It could help with research in higher education, as people blog their experiences and interests.  It can help people expand their hobbies and interests.  I have gotten good info on various subjects from blogs.  I do not think that it is able to play much of a role in high school or below.  (Or even in community college, for that matter.)  At that level, students need to figure out how to do basic research and come up with basic info about the subject, preferably from a reliable source.  It is hard to get that information from a blog.


Thursday, July 7, 2011

Summer Camp Day 6 and 7

I actually started this yesterday, but did not manage to finish it.  So I am including Day 7 so that I stay caught up.

Day 6 of Summer Camp:  When was the last time you tried something new? What was it and what was the result? Have you ever done something just so that you could blog about it?

A few new things I have done recently:

I joined a mother's group.  So far, I like it.  I do not feel too different, and the women are really nice.

I opened an etsy shop.  That remains to be seen.  I have listed things, but nothing has sold, yet.

I am trying behavior modification to lose weight. That also remains to be seen.  I had one good week, and one bad week.  I hope it works over the long term.

That is all I can think of right now.  I think there is so much that changes with the little one, that I do not want to do a whole lot that is new and different. 

I have not really done anything just to blog about it.  I may have thought about blogging about something I am doing, but I do things because I want to.

Day 7:  What’s your favorite thing to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner? Do you read food blogs or would you ever consider writing one?

I love pizza.  I could eat it any time of day.  I have actually had cold pizza for breakfast, years ago.

I actually consider myself a foodie, but I do not read any food blogs.  The closest I come is when the Frugal Girl or Non-Consumer Advocate post a recipe.  Some of which I have actually tried, with some success.

I watch food TV, instead. Not sure why.  Probably because I would want to follow a local food blogger so that I could try some of the ingredients or foods they would highlight. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Touchy-feely Tuesday and Summer Camp Day 5

Little Guy slept through the entire night last night.  What a gift!  I honestly think my body does not know what to do with all of that sleep!

Behavior mod took a detour last weekend.  Well, it was 4th of July, so it was a holiday weekend, and I was sick and sleep deprived.  Eventually, I just gave up, as it took too much energy, and I was more concerned with surviving.  I will get back to it this week.  I feel so much better when I do.

Hoping to get to the gym this morning, and then I have a dentist appointment.  Sigh.

Really ought to do some bill paying today.  It will not take long, and I think Little Guy may actually be asleep for a nap this morning.  Better take advantage of that!

Summer Camp prompt for today is :  What do you prefer to do on your birthday?

I like to go out to a really nice dinner for my birthday.  Without the little one!
 
This year, I think we actually celebrated it a day early, as we could not find a sitter for the actual day.  We went out to dinner at a high end steak restaurant.  It was lovely.  The steak was fantastic, and the wine list was excellent.  (Not to mention the wine!)

Monday, July 4, 2011

Summer Camp: Day 4

I was about ready to scream this morning.  Baby would not go to sleep!  Every time we tried to put him down, he did everything but sleep.  It was very frustrating. 

Summer Camp day 4:  What has most surprised you about being an adult? What have you learned about yourself through blogging?

I am not sure what I expected about adulthood.  I think I expected my life to follow a specific path, and that I would be able to stay on that path.

I guess the most surprising thing about adulthood to me is having to handle the unexpected setback.

When I was younger, I thought I would go to medical school, be happily married with 2.5 kids by the time I was 30, and be able to balance it all.

About the only thing I did achieve was to be happily married by 30.  I did not go to medical school, I had my first child at the age of 36, and I still have not had the second.  (Though I want to try next year.)
 
I think I had problems coming to terms with not meeting my own expectations of my life.  I can be rather hard on myself and it was hard for me to deal with the changes in my journey.  I felt like a failure because not only I did not have children, I did not even have a job or career I enjoyed.  
 
I eventually got it together, but it was not what I envisioned when I was younger.  I found I did not even want the same things as I got older.  I went to nursing school and became a nurse.  I now have a career I adore.  After a decade of infertility, we finally were able to do IVF which lead to Little Guy.  (Who I also adore.)  Neither of these things were in my life plan.  I guess better late than never for some things.  And they did lead to happiness for me.  Just not what I envisioned when I was younger.
 
As I was coming to terms with my life, blogging gave me an outlet.  It made me feel like I was not alone, as I started to connect with other bloggers.  It became a place to record where I have been, and what I want for my life.  I learned that I can deal with where my life is headed, and I can handle whatever life throws at me.  Blogging helped me get underneath the emotion and figure out what is really going on.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Summer camp: Day 2 and 3

Because I did not post yesterday, I am trying to play catch up today.

Day 2:  What were you like in high school?  What extracurricular activities did you take part in?  Did you consider yourself a writer?

I think I was fairly average in high school.  I never hung out with the "cool" kids, and did not even try out for cheerleading.  (And I always thought that the cheerleading team was a bit of a popularity contest anyway.)  I usually sat in the back of the classroom with the slackers and would let others copy my notes.  I usually had the assignment done, anyway, so it was no big deal to me.  Never made honor roll, but never got a grade below a C. Nothing to make me stand out from the crowd.  I did just enough work to get through.

I think I was a bit of a geek back then.  I was on the flag team, so I usually hung out with band people.  I actually enjoyed Shakespeare.  I remember going to one of our high school productions of a Shakespeare play, and I think I was one of the only people in the audience who laughed at the appropriate times.  My papers were typed out on an early toshiba and printed out on a dot matrix printer.  (Am I dating myself now?)  I enjoyed hanging out in my room and listening to music.  I really enjoyed my tape collection.

I was also active in my church youth group.  I did not want to lead anything at school, but I did take a leadership role in my church youth group.  It was a great group and I enjoyed being with the people in the group.  I think I preferred being a leader of a small group over a large group.

That is not to say I did not get into my fair share of trouble.  I remember having at least one party while I parents were out of town.  I also usually hung out with druggies on the weekend, though I did not actually do any.  Um, really.  They used me for my car, I used them for access to alcohol.  It was all good, yo.  They did not pressure me to do anything.

Overall, an average high school experience, I think.  I cannot say that high school was the best years of my life, but they certainly were not the worst.  Not all the memorable, really. 

I did not consider myself a writer in high school.  I actually still do not consider myself a writer, despite the fact I blog regularly.  In high school I did have a journal, and I wrote in it intermittently.  But it was not something I enjoyed.  It was more an emotional outlet.  I was more into reading, hanging out with friends, and listening to music.

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Day 3:  What are your guilty pleasures.


Chocolate and wine.

Though wine is more medicinal, and almost good for you now.  But I love a really nice red.  Hubby and I watched James May's Road Trip, where May and Oz Clarke drive through Europe and America and drink wine.  In watching that show, Hubby realized how much of a wine snob I am.  I am not quite at Oz Clarke's level, but I know enough to pick a decent wine off the wine list.  (I am also enough of a snob that if the wine list is too pedestrian, I will not even order wine.  I usually have something better at home!)

Chocolate may be a true guilty pleasure for me.  I love chocolate, and it seems that I cannot get enough!  At least dark chocolate is good for you, in moderation.  I almost never turn down an opportunity to eat chocolate.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Off to Camp!

Calliope over at Creating Motherhood is hosting Blog Juice, a summer camp for bloggers!

I still remember all the great times I had at summer camp, in between all the bug bites and wildlife.  (I still remember being freaked out by a black rat snake.  That thing was huge!)  I also wanted to get motivated to post more, and this seemed like fun to me.

Today's post is on my blogging space.

I actually spend a lot of time in this chair.  Thank goodness it is very comfortable!  I got the glider when Little Guy was born, and I continue to spend a lot of time in it.


(Um, yes, we still breastfeed, but only at night.  That is sort of where the bop.py lives.)

The chair is positioned in front of the front door, and angled so that it has a good view of Little Guy's play area.  It is right next to the couch, and more often than not, there is a dog sitting on that end of the couch.

The chair has pockets where I can keep random stuff.  TV remotes, nail files, pens, paper, and whatever else I throw in there.  The ottoman rocks with the glider.  The ottoman is actually a favorite plaything for Little Guy.  He likes to take the cushion off the glider and try to stand up on it.  It is a favorite game of his.

The quilt was made by a friend of mine when Little Guy was born, and it is full of bright colors.  The patterned pieces have pictures of Clifford the big red dog and colorful cats.  Little Guy likes to point out the dogs and cats to me sometimes.

Behind the chair is an ottoman which has a pile of fleece blankets.  One of our dogs likes to eat her dog biscuits off that ottoman, so we cannot really move it.  (Not that we spoil our dogs, or anything!)

Most of my blogging is done while Little Guy naps.  He commands all attention when he is awake, so it is impossible for me to even finish a thought.  Nap times are wonderfully quiet and peaceful and allow me space to be a little contemplative, which helps me focus on my writing.

Contemplative time done, time to do some chores before the Little Guy wakes up!