Monday, November 29, 2010

Making it.

We survived the Thanksgiving travel.  Still hate to travel with a 10 month old.  I have a feeling 11.5 months will not be much better.  I believe Hubby and I have decided that after our trip to MIL, 2011 will be the year of the stay-cation.  If we need a vacation from the vacation, it is just not worth it to us.  Eventually he will be easier to travel with, but it is not easy at the moment. 

There is only two weeks left in the semester, and I am almost done.  By the end of next week, I should have everything done except the grading.  I just wish I had the time to finish it now.  I feel like the end is so close!

I have a lot of my Christmas shopping done.  Most of it was done online.  I love the internets!  It makes life so much easier!

OR job is still going well.  I got to sign up for our benefits.  That felt really good!  They should kick in by February of next year.

Gertrude is having incontinence issues.  She is wetting where she sleeps, spilling protein in her urine, and losing weight.  (Despite trying to feed her more.)  Bloodwork was normal, and X-rays were inconclusive, though her chest is clear.  We discovered she has really bad arthritis in her back, so we got her a pain medication, which does make her more comfortable.  I need to make her an appointment with internal medicine at the vet school, but I have not had time to make the phone call.  By Wednesday, really.  I hope this is something easily medicated, and not something really bad.

I did not have time to make a phone call today because I was worried about the baby, and wanted to get his ears checked.  He has not been sleeping as well, pulling at his ears, and he has had a stuffy nose for almost a week.  Turned out not to be his ears, but the doc gave me an antibiotic for his stuffy nose. It was pretty bad.  It has been running like a faucet for a while now.  Hopefully the antibiotic will help clear it up.  Baby does have molars coming in, which could be responsible for all of the above symptoms.

Off to bed.  I have a busy day in outpatient surgery tomorrow!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Just so tired tonight.  I had a long day at school yesterday, with both lab and lecture. Then I worked at my other job today.  I have a hunch this will be a long rambling post...

They let me scrub today.  It was great, but I forgot how exhausting it is.  They had me scrubbing eyes.  They seemed pretty excited to have someone who was interested in learning how to scrub eyes, and they are actually following through on teaching me how to do it.  It is nice to learn something new, and I hope I get the hang of it soon.  I know I am no where near being independent at it, but I have only had one day.  I will get it, with time.  Gotta start somewhere.

We are traveling to my grandmother's tomorrow for Thanksgiving.  I hope if we leave late afternoon or early evening, we will get there with minimal issues from the baby.  It does not make it any easier that he is sick.  Just a cold, but it still makes him feel run down.  Probably not fun to travel with unless he is asleep.  I hope it goes well.

The search for babysitters is going well.  Two sitters are coming over next weekend to meet the baby and our dogs.  We feel more comfortable having sitters meet our dogs before leaving them alone in the house with two very large dogs.  It just seemed like a good idea.  I think I have figured out a way to restrict the dogs to the downstairs.  I think Gertrude would be better off if she does not have a lot of interaction with the sitter.  Oscar would probably get along with everyone, but I think he is sort of protective of the baby.  That could be a problem.  He is also pretty bark-y.  That could wake the baby.  Hopefully by restricting him to the downstairs, his barking will not wake the baby.  We are going to try out the new system with someone we know is comfortable with our dogs.  Hopefully it will work.  Keeping fingers crossed.

With my mother, I have had to adjust my expectations of her.  That is difficult for me.  When the baby was first born, she said she wanted to babysit as often as she could.  That has not been the reality.  Hubby and I want a certain amount time together, and she is not able to give us that.  We have to adjust our thinking, and adjust how we do things.  We actually should have found babysitters long ago, but we kept putting it off because my mother seemed willing to take the baby for a while on the weekend.  Overall, I think it will work out for the best. We will be able to do things on our schedule, and the baby's schedule.  We will have more flexibility in what we can do. We can do things a little later in the evening.  We could go see a movie.  We could rent a hotel room for a couple hours.  I think we are about ready for more variety in our dating life.

I am still speaking to my mother, in case you were wondering.  She watches him during the week, and I see her fairly regularly.  She is also more in touch with the rest of the family, and it is good to talk with her about some things.  She does love the baby, but she is less able to keep up with him now that he is really moving.  So things are fine with my mother.  We just do not always communicate with each other very well.  I am very right brained and analytical. She is very, very left brained.  Words can mean different things to each of us.  It can be a bit of an issue.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving.  (If you are here in the US.)  If you are not in the US, I hope the rest of your week goes well.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Ah, family....

They can drive you crazy!

I do not know why this thing with my mother is getting me so upset.  Maybe because she seems to send me mixed messages.  I thought she was fine taking him for a few hours on the weekends.  She likes the baby, and she likes to spend time with the baby.  She seemed to want to take him on the weekends.  For a while, she really wanted to be a baby hog and take him as often as she could.  Now it seems like she has had a complete about-face.  Now she does not want to take him on weekends at all, and is not willing to work with our weekend schedule.  And she refuses to consider a visit longer than two hours with the baby over the weekends.

She does do a lot of child care for us during the week, and that could be taking a toll on her.  I just wish she could have just told me, instead of doing all this other crap.  I always ask her if she is able to watch him over the weekend.  She could have told me "no."  Instead, she says yes, and then she gives me a hard time over a request to pick him up.  All we wanted was a couple of hours to ourselves at the house, and we cannot get it because she is unable to listen to what we need, and did not hear what I asked. 

It feels like it did when she was helping me postpartum.  She had her own ideas about what I needed, and that is what she provided.  She could not see what it was I really needed, and then was unwilling to provide it when I asked.  It often feels like she lives in her own reality, and if something does not fit with that reality she does not acknowledge it at all.  I think at heart it feels like a rejection.  And rejection always hurts.  For some reason this makes me want to cry, though.  Maybe it is just the fatigue.

There is a silver lining to this, though.  Having a sitter and not being dependent on my parents for babysitting duty will allow us to be more flexible in our dating experiences.  We could go out later, and for longer periods of time.  We could go see a band play at our favorite pub.  We could make dinner reservations.  We could go to a hotel for a few hours.  We could see a movie or go to a party.  All we need is a pool of babysitters.  We already have leads on three.  Hopefully they will all get along with the dogs.  That is going to be key to success, I think.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


There is a lot of frustration at our house tonight.  We have issues with my parents as weekend child care providers.  What we need and what my mother is willing to provide are not the same.  She is not even willing to listen to what we need, and will not bend at all for us.  Every time I have asked for something simple, like a little extra time or if they are willing to pick him up, she come down on me like a ton of bricks and conclusively states that she is not willing to do that.

All Hubby and I want is a couple hours at the house with out the baby.  That could be easily achieved if they were willing to pick him up from our house.  They generally take him somewhere as soon as we get there, anyway, so it does not seem like a big deal to me.  But when I asked, my mother indicated that she was not willing to change how the evenings go.  Honestly, at this point I am tired of asking.  We want more, and she is not willing to give it.  She does watch him during the week, and that is all she seems willing to do.  So that is all she is going to do.  If she wants to do more, she will have to come to us.  I am done trying to make it work.

On top of this, Gertrude has not been doing well.  She has been having a lot of urinary incontinence.  She has been wetting the couch, and we have been washing covers and dog throws almost daily.  I did take her to the vet, and she does not have a UTI, and she is not spilling sugar.  So it is not diabetes.  But she has lost about 15 pounds, and her urine was very dilute with some protein.  I think that is part of the problem.  The vet did draw labs, but I have not heard back.  I am hoping that it is something treatable and not cancer.  The vet did not feel a mass, so I am holding out some hope.

Oh, and I started my new job last week.  That is pretty nerve wracking.  And it is getting close to the end of the semester, so I have a final push of work.  And the Baby has been sleeping poorly.  I have been up several times a night tending the baby.  I have a lot going on, and I am doing it all without sleep!

I hate it when too many things go pear shaped at the same time.  I feel like a failure as a mother and wife.  None of the things that have gone wrong are my fault, and there is nothing I can really do about any of it.  But it is frustrating that all Hubby and I are able to do are quickies after the baby goes to sleep.  We need regular afternoons at the house by ourselves.  I think we could sacrifice some of our dinners out if we had some afternoons to reconnect.

I think the time has come to find ourselves a babysitter.  Hopefully someone who would be willing to watch the baby at their place or our place...

Friday, November 5, 2010


Little Dude slept 8 hours at a stretch!  Oh my!  And mommy feels amazingly refreshed.  I actually woke up after about 7.5 hours of sleep, and managed to take a bath by myelf this morning.  Bliss!  I cannot believe he slept that long.  Apparently he does not like to be cold, and I think the temperature in the house was too cold for his liking, so he kept waking up.  Once we bumped the temp up a little, he slept.  It feels so good to be rested!

I have no real plans for the weekend, other than work on classwork.  I hope to finish my molecular genetics chapter by the end of Monday.  Keeping fingers crossed on that!  I also have to figure out how to intro lab for Monday, as it is bacteria and protists.  I seem to be unfamiliar with non-pathogenic organisms, what with me being a nurse and all.  That is a bit of an issue when we are discussing comparative anatomy and phyisology.  Sigh.  I guess I have to spend an afternoon doing some research.

I also hope that Hubby does laundry this weekend.  I really need some clean clothes.  I really need pants!

Thinking I may try to actually write in a journal every day for 15 minutes.  Of course, I keep getting distracted by things like housework, Twitter, and, so we will see how it goes.  It may help to come up with ideas for posts.  I want to have better writing on my blog, but I never seem to be able to come up with ideas for posts when I am able to post.  So most of my recent posts are a peek into my daily life.  Not very interesting all the time.  I sort of miss the more thoughtful posts I used to do before I had the Little Dude.  (I think I must be a contemplative at heart!)  I know that there are things I want to talk about, and this is probably the forum for it.  Just getting the ideas from my brain to the blog is a real issue.  Not to mention, finding the time to write the post.  The more thoughtful posts can take more time to write, as the words make a difference.
What do you all think?

Thursday, November 4, 2010


Doing better with the sleep.  Baby and I have been up fairly regularly, though.  Two of his four front teeth have broken through, and the other two look like they are on their way.  It also looks like we have the start of more teeth coming in.  Times are not fun around this house.  We were up every three hours last night.  Even with ibuprofen and ora-gel.  (I know, I am a bad parent for giving my child ora-gel, but sometimes you gotta do what works.)  Fortunately, everyone went right back to sleep after each waking.  So it was not too bad.  And night before last, he slept 6 hours at a stretch.  Someday I hope that will be a regular occurrence....

My last day at my old job is today.  Oh thank goodness!  I will miss all the people I work with, but the place just sucks your soul.  And so many people have left that I do not know half the staff anymore.  It is just not a nice place to work.  Also, the new job comes with a pay raise, and some benefits, which are really needed right now!  It will be so nice to have days and cases which go as scheduled.  Very excited about that.

I know what I am teaching next semester!  I am teaching Bio 101 again!  So excited, as it should be less work, as I did most of it this semester.  I may add some evolution stuff in to my lectures, as I found I cannot fit the extra chapters in.  This also means I need to change my tests a little, too.  But that is all right.  I think I can make it happen.  Also, the class and lecture are all on Tuesday and Thursday.  It means a longer day, but it is only two days a week.  Since I am only working OR two days a week, too, I get an extra day off.  That will be really nice!  Hoping that actually works out.

Oh, and just to make life more fun, AF decided to come early this cycle.  It has only been about 18 days since the last period.  I was actually expecting her next week or the week after.  I guess this is not so bad, as I should be done before the new job starts on Tuesday.  So there is a silver lining...