Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Ah, family....

They can drive you crazy!

I do not know why this thing with my mother is getting me so upset.  Maybe because she seems to send me mixed messages.  I thought she was fine taking him for a few hours on the weekends.  She likes the baby, and she likes to spend time with the baby.  She seemed to want to take him on the weekends.  For a while, she really wanted to be a baby hog and take him as often as she could.  Now it seems like she has had a complete about-face.  Now she does not want to take him on weekends at all, and is not willing to work with our weekend schedule.  And she refuses to consider a visit longer than two hours with the baby over the weekends.

She does do a lot of child care for us during the week, and that could be taking a toll on her.  I just wish she could have just told me, instead of doing all this other crap.  I always ask her if she is able to watch him over the weekend.  She could have told me "no."  Instead, she says yes, and then she gives me a hard time over a request to pick him up.  All we wanted was a couple of hours to ourselves at the house, and we cannot get it because she is unable to listen to what we need, and did not hear what I asked. 

It feels like it did when she was helping me postpartum.  She had her own ideas about what I needed, and that is what she provided.  She could not see what it was I really needed, and then was unwilling to provide it when I asked.  It often feels like she lives in her own reality, and if something does not fit with that reality she does not acknowledge it at all.  I think at heart it feels like a rejection.  And rejection always hurts.  For some reason this makes me want to cry, though.  Maybe it is just the fatigue.

There is a silver lining to this, though.  Having a sitter and not being dependent on my parents for babysitting duty will allow us to be more flexible in our dating experiences.  We could go out later, and for longer periods of time.  We could go see a band play at our favorite pub.  We could make dinner reservations.  We could go to a hotel for a few hours.  We could see a movie or go to a party.  All we need is a pool of babysitters.  We already have leads on three.  Hopefully they will all get along with the dogs.  That is going to be key to success, I think.


~Jess said...

Wow....that sounds like a tough situation...is she maybe burnt out from her watching the little guy during the week?

I think babysitters are the way to go...that way you don't feel like you're imposing.

Jamie said...

I hope you are finding a balance with the babysitting. It is such a stressful topic.

Maybe your Mom needs a break? I bet if you found a sitter for during the week, your Mom would fall all over herself wanting to keep him during the weekends.