Welcome IComLeavWe!

I have been a terrible commenter lately, and needed some motivation to start commenting again. IComLeavWe should help get me commenting again. And it is really fun to explore the blog community. I have been a recluse of late.

Just a little bit about me, and where I am at right now...

Hubby and I have been married almost 14 years now. It is hard to believe we have been married that long! Our family consists of Hubby and me, our two Great Danes, and our three month old baby. I think that Hubby and I are still amazed that we have a baby. The road here was a long and difficult one. It took 10 years, a PCOS diagnosis, a male factor diagnosis, 3 IUIs with clomid, 3 IUIs with injectables, a round of IVF, and a bumpy pregnancy, but we got a happy healthy baby at the end of it all. Absolutely amazing.

I think I finally have my work situation sorted. I going back to work in the OR the first week in May. I am going back flex time, and only working two days a week for eight hours. It feels right for me. Hopefully it will continue to feel right after I start. At the moment I am enjoying not working at all and having unlimited time with my Little Dude.

I found that I am really into baby wearing, and may post more on that this week. I have a couple carriers, and want to buy more. I think I am addicted. I also co-sleep, and breastfeed. That being said, I am by no means a crunchy granola type. I buy processed food often, don't stress over organic food, and I work in an OR. I take what works and what feels good. I think most parents do the same thing. You have to find what works for you.

I am still trying to figure out how to be me and be a mother. In the years it took to get here, I went to school, I worked, and those experiences made me who I am today. I do not want to lose that because I am a mother, too. Yes, my baby is important to me, but I am important, too. I am not going to live through my son. I want to experience things for me. My Little Dude gets to be his own person, and experience the world for himself.

I still feel infertile. I guess because it was a part of my life for so long. There is also the likelihood that we will have to do an FET cycle in order to have another child. (I had a lot of eggs and a few embryos from the IVF cycle.) I am not quite ready to do that, yet. But I know it is there. I will say that I have been sloppy with the birth control. If we conceive naturally, that is great. But I am not expecting to. Considering what it took to get here, I think chances of a natural conception are pretty slim.

Anyway, that is where I am at right now. If you have questions, or want to know more about something, let me know. Looking forward to getting to know you this week!

Another year older.

Today is my birthday! Happy Birthday to me!

No big plans for today. Our house cleaner comes today, and a friend is coming over to deliver farm food. My celebration will actually be tomorrow. My parents are taking the Little Dude for the afternoon, and then we are going to have dinner with them. My mother wanted a party, and Sunday just worked out better for everyone.

I may try to make it to the Baby and Birth Expo today. A local babywearer makes Mei Teis, and I wanted to try one. We will see if that actually happens, though.


And now for the pics I promised you!

Our tomato plants....
I think all the pots are great!


And a pic of the little dude! Just because.

One year ago...

One year ago, I was in the middle of an IVF cycle. One year ago, my little dude was only an idea in our heads. It is hard to believe that he is three months old already.

He has grown so much, and continues to change every day. He loves to push up with his legs and "stand." He can hold his head up fairly well when he is on his belly. He loves to roll around anywhere he can. We can tell that he is eager to move by himself. He keeps trying, though. Ever time we put hum on his tummy, he moves like he is going to crawl. He does not have the arm strength or head control yet to actually make it happen. I just know that one day he will just take off, and things will never be the same.

Hubby put tomato plants in. We put fewer plants per pot, and had to buy more pots. The front of our house now has a line of pots almost all the way across. It is pretty funny.

I will try to post pics soon. Just as soon as I find the camera and the cord....

Help for a fellow blogger.

I know that many of you all have experience with MFI and some of you have experience with DS. BumpyJourney's hubby has questions about the male side of things. Please go over and share your experiences, and answer some of his questions if you can.
I know both of them would appreciate it.

You can find the post here.

Still here

I have not dropped off the face of the earth. Really. Just really lazy with posting.

This post is going to be a little random, as my attention span is very short right now.

Nursing is going well. I really like the time with the little dude, and he loves the time with me. And it is damn convenient. Pumping is not a huge deal, especially with a good pump. Though finding the time recently has been a challenge. Hubby has been watching the baby when I pump, which works our well when he is available. I have been trying to pump soon after I get up in the morning, when Little Dude is full and happy and Hubby is available and milk production is high.

I love co-sleeping! Absolutely love it! Everyone gets sleep, and I get to cuddle with the baby. I suspect that I will be one of those parents that co-sleeps as long as possible.

I will be going back to work by the end of the month. I am going back flex, working two days a week. We are keeping the subsidized COBRA for insurance. (Now that they approved it. Idiots. Insurance companies suck.) My employee health visit is Wednesday, and I will likely start about a week after that.

We found a great childcare provider for the Little Dude while I am at work. Both Hubby and I like the place, and the people that run it. One thing I think is great is that Hubby will drop off the Little Dude. I think that is going to be a lot easier on me. Now we need a weekend/evening sitter so we can go on dates. I am working on that. Really.

I will leave you with some pics taken on Easter, With everyone in their Easter finery.

The landscape looks different from here.

I have to work through this, and what better place to do it than on my blog. Things look different now that I have the little one, and trying to figure it all out is rather confusing to me.

My old job does not want me to work part days, which means that I would have to work 8-hour days at minimum. I need to decide whether I want to go back to work at my old job part time and work whole days. It would still be flex, and it would only be a couple days a week. There would be no call, and the days I work would be set. It seems like it could work for me right now.

But then there is the child care dilemma. My mother has made it clear to me that she does not want to look after him for whole days if I go back to my old job. Really, she made it clear that she wants nothing to do with child care arrangements which do not involve her. She has tried to let go of her expectations, but it is hard for her. If I went back to work at my old job for 8-hour days, I would need to find a child care provider. On the bright side, that would allow my parents to take him on the weekends and for a few hours during the week. We would have someone who could give us a date night on a regular basis, and I would have someone to watch him while I ran errands.

I do have some reservations about going back to my old job. While I love the people I work with and love the work, management stinks and consistently runs their employees into the ground. They have shown us over and over that employees are not high on their priority list. I would get away from some of that by working flex, as I would not take call, and I am better able to set my hours. I also do not have to work this job forever. I could work my old job until I land an adjunct teaching position at a community college.

Here is the list of pros and cons that I can come up with.
Pros for working the old job: only 2-3 days a week, no call, no weekends. My days would be set. I would get to see my co-workers again. The work is rewarding for me, and gives me purpose. I would have income again! Having the extra income would make things a lot easier. My parents would be available on the weekends and odd days for child care.

Cons for working the old job: Management sucks, I would have to find a childcare provider. I would have to leave the baby a few days a week.

Overall, I know I am lucky in that I have had several months to spend with AC. And I am lucky to be able to work part time. Not everyone has that luxury. And here in the US, working part time is a luxury. Part time work does not offer benefits, and you are often paid less than full time workers. Part time does give me more time with the little dude.

I think I have some things to think about.

Frustration.

My old job wants me to work whole days. No part days at all. Sigh. That would have been so nice to work half days. I am a little tempted to tell them to shove it and try to find an adjunct teaching position somewhere. My old job's management sucked, but it was a job.

I am still trying to figure it all out. Not sure of anything at this point.