This year is different for me. Expecting a child causes you to have a very different outlook on life. Last year, my holidays were filled with work and travel to family. Last year, the holidays hurt. Thanksgiving with my family was not bad, because no one else in my family have children. But Hubby's family was all about the chlidren at Christmas. How cute the babies were, and what they were doing for the children that year. (They stopped asking when we were having ours a while ago.)
Last year, Hubby and I had given up hope that we would ever have children of our own. It just seemed too impossible. After six failed IUIs, and IVF seemingly out of our reach, we figured that there was not much hope for us to have children of our own.
FIL said he would be willing to pay for IVF. That completely changed our entire outlook on things. I wish I could do something to express our appreciation. But I do not know where to start. He gave us a chance, and he gave us this child because of his generosity.
So my outlook on the holidays this year are a little different than last year. I cannot travel, as I am at the end of my third trimester. I cannot work, as my heart is already working extra hard carrying this child. (No one wants to see me have a heart attack on the job!) So I am left free to prepare for the baby's arrival and enjoy the holidays. I do not think I have ever been able to just stop and enjoy. I have always had work or school to compete for my attention. It is really nice not to have to work at the end of my pregnancy. I cannot stand for very long, my hands hurt and my back and hips hurt. Not very fun if you are in a physical job and stressful as I was.
I want to start going to church again. The first Sunday in advent is this Sunday. I have sort of missed the rituals of the Christmas season. It may be comforting for me. After all, Advent is a time of preparation. Very similar to what I am experiencing now. It would also do me good to get out and connect with people. I have isolated myself recently, and that is not good for me.