It is very strange not to have anywhere I need to be every day. Every now and again I have doctor's appointments, or errands to run. (BTW - I finally broke down and called a day care center. I have an appointment on Thursday for a tour and to get on their waiting list.) It is strange not to have any place to be every day, but it does feel good.
I get worn out very easily, which frustrates the crap out of me. I ran errands this morning. Nothing very exciting, just a few little errands which needed to be done, and then I did the grocery shopping. It did not take me more than two hours, and I was exhausted by the time I was done. All I could do was collapse on the couch. I had no more energy for anything else. I was done for the day. It made me very glad I was not working. I would have dropped before lunch time.
We did get an exciting piece of news from FIL. He wants to pay off our mortgage. (Or as much of it as he can.) This opens up a lot of things for us. Wade is fine with me not working for a while after the baby gets here, but I am worried about insurance. I really would like to have insurance for our child. We make too much to qualify for FAMIS (the Virginia children's health insurance) or any other public options. And then there is me. Because my FMLA runs out in January, my benefits will run out in January. I could possibly get CORBA just for me, but that would leave our child uninsured. I am not that comfortable with that.
I have also been thinking about work.
I love being an OR nurse. I enjoy working with my co-workers. It is just management which frustrates the crap out of me. Not to mention the new electronic documentation program. (Just not really sure about that damn EMR.) I could go back to my OR job part time and still get benefits. Which could work. I could work three days a week, and I would be more likely to work less than 40 hours. I would have more time away from work and with the new baby.
I will likely still look at the open positions, and see if anything comes up. It may work out all right if I could work within my employer's hospital system. The trick is that I really want to work part time, not full time.
It is really difficult for me to trust that things will work out. I hate not knowing what will happen,