I think I need to let go of the expectation that I have to carry the insurance. I do not want to work full time, and employers do not want to extend benefits to part time employees. If I let go of the expectation that I have to carry the insurance, then I can work how I want, and have more time to spend with AC.
We can afford the subsidized COBRA, and we can keep that for over a year. We can re-evaluate our insurance situation then. Things may look a lot different in a year. (I hope so!) Until then, I may be able to work flex in the OR, and maybe look into adjunct at the local community college. The nice thing about flex is that I can dictate when I work a little more than part time. And the best part is there is no call!
I really miss having my own income. While I am not in a hurry to go back to work, I hate seeing my bank account dwindle. That is a huge motivator for me to go back to work.
Letting go is so damn difficult.