Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Rainy Wednesday

And I have the day off! I really needed it, too. Work has been really rough. I was in two really bad cases over the past couple of days. One was a trauma, and the other was a scheduled case which went bad. Really bad. I hate trauma, and I hate having cases go bad. I prefer nice, predictable scheduled cases where things go exactly as planned. I do not get all excited by trauma, I get stressed out. I need to get rid of the bad mojo. Hopefully it will be gone by the time I go back to work tomorrow.

Hubby has been in a funk lately. The other night we tried to talk, but I think we missed what the other is saying. I think he was trying to tell me that he resents the fact that I made us move out here. I was the one who took the job at this big hospital in Roanoke. I was the one who said I could not stay in Tappahannock. I really could not stay. I was way too depressed. He keeps wanting me to stop working so much overtime. I actually do not work a lot of overtime. Usually it is about 4-5 hours per week. I think that is not so bad. They usually let me out of my room when I am scheduled to get off work. I am not on call very often. I love what I do. In order for us to be financially comfortable I have to work the hours I do. I pack lunches for both of us most days. I pay the mortgage. I think Hubby is doing fantastic with his practice. I really appreciate the fact that he is able to help pay the bills. I am actually impressed that he is able to do that so soon after starting his solo practice. I may have been a little stressed out for a while once I realized that my paychecks would not cover all the bills coming in, but that was no indication on how he was doing. That was me being stressed about not being able to pay the bills, and not feeing comfortable enough to ask him to help pay them. I was trying not to put any pressure on him because I was not sure how well his practice was doing. I do not know what else I can do to be supportive. I think between his feelings about the move and the IF stuff, he may not be happy underneath it all. I do not know what I can do to help. We may try seeing a marriage counselor. Hopefully the counselor can at least help us communicate better, which may go a long way to helping us work through this.


Deb said...

Blondie do not stop trying to talk, even if you have many, many failed attempts. Keep trying. I know how hard it is to talk to someone who has trouble expressing his thoughts, but please dont give up. I almost did and that haunts me everyday of my life.


~Jess said...

*hugs* I hope that you had a relaxing day off. I'm sorry you guys are having communication issues. My husband kind of went through the same thing when his back was bad and he wasn't working. Seeing a counselor might be a good idea...if nothing else you can get another perspective.

Good luck!

JamieD said...

I am sorry to hear you and your husband are having communication issues because I know all too well where you are coming from.

I can clearly tell when Hubby is upset/distressed but he has such a hard time expressing it to me. When I try to draw it out of him, he gets so defensive. But I keep trying and keep talking him through it. Communication is a perfect example of how women are from Venus and men are from Mars.

Keep trying and hugs . . .