Upside down and inside out

Father's Day weekend was relatively quiet. My father came down to see us on Saturday evening. We went out to dinner and then drove them around the area so that they could get a better feel for it. (Since they are thinking of moving down here after the baby comes.) Sunday was very quiet. We did not do much of anything, really. (Though, I did go buy some stretchy shorts, as I have begun to lose my waist.) Very nice very slow day. I think we both needed it after the week we had.

I think both of us feel out of it. Hubby's loss was really hard on both him and me (in different ways.) And we are still trying to come to terms with being pregnant. That is a lot to deal with, without anything else.

Then on Sunday I got an email from my mother telling me that my grandfather was admitted to the hospital with a high fever and low blood pressure. Did not sound good. They took blood cultures and then started him on an antibiotic, which did help. Apparently, he was asleep for a couple of days, but was awake today when my mother called to try to get info. They apparently replaced his central line. (Which must have been a good thing, because it sounds to me like he had sepsis.) No other info. My mother is frustrated because neither my grandmother or my aunt are saying a lot about his condition. (Probably because they are having a hard time dealing with it.) I am concerned because I do not know how many of these setbacks he can take. From what I can tell, he is sleeping a lot, not eating very much, and has his nutrition supplemented parenterally. My grandmother is hoping to go home tomorrow, but the docs want to run some tests. No clue as to what sort of tests. It would be nice if he could get checked out before he leaves. It would probably give them a better idea as to his health status and where they can go from here. It would be nice not to have to keep bringing him back to the hospital. My grandmother thinks he will just be released to home care with antibiotics IV. Or maybe that is what she thinks will happen in her own reality. Who knows.

My family appears to be in a tailspin because it is becoming clearer that they are going to lose my grandfather. All I can do is watch from a distance. Probably the best place to be. I am a little crazy myself right now. I am tired of being the sane one.