My week from hell is finally over. I did end up getting called in for a couple of hours last night. They thought that they would get a lot lot of traumas all at once. (When the ER starts to clear out the trauma bays, that seems like a reasonable assumption.) Fortunately for me, they never got any of the expected traumas and I got to go home and go back to bed. My schedule this block from here on out is not nearly as bad. All day shifts, and no call. Thank goodness.
The result of my crazy week is that I am really tired today. And my nausea is terrible today because I am tired. I found that it seems to get worse if I do not get enough rest. Fortunately, I do not have to do a lot today. And Hubby is being really nice to me and offered to do some of my chores I needed to get done today. That makes my life a little easier.
I should be able to go to bed early tonight and hopefully get caught up on sleep. It will be nice to get an entire night of uninterrupted sleep. I think I need it.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
The Week from Hell
I think my schedule is going to kill me. The four day weekend was really nice, but my schedule this week is really rough. Tuesday was busy, as you all know from my last post. Wednesday I had to work 9-9, and I was stuck in a case until 9 PM. Today I was scheduled to work 7-3. And I had a robot case this morning, so I had to be in early for that. By the afternoon I could not see straight. Fortunately, my co-worker pushed to get me off early. I came home and slept for almost 2 hours. Apparently I needed the sleep. I felt good after my nap, though. I have to work a night shift tomorrow, which will likely be rough on me. I only hope that we are not too busy tomorrow night. Keeping fingers crossed, at any rate.
My schedule next week is not as bad, fortunately. No more call, at least. Thank goodness!
It is very weird being so open about being pregnant. But it helps me at work, I think. People will shoo me away from moving patients and doing a lot of heavy lifting. Many of my co-workers also try to make sure that I get breaks so that I can eat something. (Which is very much appreciated!) It is strange getting special treatment. At this point I am rolling my eyes and throwing up my hands. I still feel like I should be able to do everything myself. It also depends on who I am with. Some people let me do more than others. Overall, it has not been too terrible letting people know.
My schedule next week is not as bad, fortunately. No more call, at least. Thank goodness!
It is very weird being so open about being pregnant. But it helps me at work, I think. People will shoo me away from moving patients and doing a lot of heavy lifting. Many of my co-workers also try to make sure that I get breaks so that I can eat something. (Which is very much appreciated!) It is strange getting special treatment. At this point I am rolling my eyes and throwing up my hands. I still feel like I should be able to do everything myself. It also depends on who I am with. Some people let me do more than others. Overall, it has not been too terrible letting people know.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
First ultrasound done!
Our one little bean looks good! We saw the heartbeat, and that was too cool. I think it made it more real for both of us. We actually have a baby in there! We saw it! How amazing!
I now really need to make an appointment with Dr Sweetness. I think the Wizard is going to write a letter to Dr Sweetness, so I hope this means that care is seamless. That is the hope, at any rate. We will see what actually happens.
The Wizard is switching me to progesterone vaginal suppositories, so no more shots! I am happy about that. I just need to go and pick them up tonight. I think it will be worth the trip.
Hubby had quite the day today. He took the day off of work, and not just for the ultrasound. He has a red lump on his back which has been hurting him for a week. I have been putting some neosp.orin on it, but it has really not been doing much. He finally saw a doctor about it today. Turned out, the red lump was a sebaceous cyst. They removed it right there in the doctor's office with a little local. Apparently, it was pretty big, and they had to pack the wound before they dressed it. Poor thing was hurting when I finally saw him at the u/s appointment. He really wanted to make that appointment. I think it was worth it when we saw the heartbeat.
So Hubby has had quite the day!
I now really need to make an appointment with Dr Sweetness. I think the Wizard is going to write a letter to Dr Sweetness, so I hope this means that care is seamless. That is the hope, at any rate. We will see what actually happens.
The Wizard is switching me to progesterone vaginal suppositories, so no more shots! I am happy about that. I just need to go and pick them up tonight. I think it will be worth the trip.
Hubby had quite the day today. He took the day off of work, and not just for the ultrasound. He has a red lump on his back which has been hurting him for a week. I have been putting some neosp.orin on it, but it has really not been doing much. He finally saw a doctor about it today. Turned out, the red lump was a sebaceous cyst. They removed it right there in the doctor's office with a little local. Apparently, it was pretty big, and they had to pack the wound before they dressed it. Poor thing was hurting when I finally saw him at the u/s appointment. He really wanted to make that appointment. I think it was worth it when we saw the heartbeat.
So Hubby has had quite the day!
Monday, May 25, 2009
Biting the Bullet
I realized last night that the girls had gotten large enough that they needed more space. I decided today to buy some bras so that I could work comfortably. People, I went from a C cup to a D cup! I fill the damn D cups. My girls are big enough to give me back issues if I do not get enough support. I did not spend a lot on the bras. All the bras I bought were under $10. And yes, I tried them on. The ones I bought, I did not want to take off because my back felt so much better! I did change into a new bra as soon as I got home. What a difference the right support makes!
I have to say, I think both Hubby and I are a little bit nervous about the ultrasound tomorrow. We both know there is not a lot to see at this point. We should be able to see the sac with a little blob where the little one is. We are not even going to be able to hear a heartbeat yet. I hope it goes well, and we have something cooking in there. I think the ultrasound means that it is real, and we may have to start making plans. Until now, it just sort of feels like we are playing at being pregnant.
There is one piece of good news, my parents are planning on moving here. I think they want to time the move to coincide with the birth. But it is a big jump for them. I think they are still in the planning stages at this point.
I have to say, I think both Hubby and I are a little bit nervous about the ultrasound tomorrow. We both know there is not a lot to see at this point. We should be able to see the sac with a little blob where the little one is. We are not even going to be able to hear a heartbeat yet. I hope it goes well, and we have something cooking in there. I think the ultrasound means that it is real, and we may have to start making plans. Until now, it just sort of feels like we are playing at being pregnant.
There is one piece of good news, my parents are planning on moving here. I think they want to time the move to coincide with the birth. But it is a big jump for them. I think they are still in the planning stages at this point.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Where did they come from?
This is going to be another pregnancy symptoms post. Sorry about that, but there is not really anything going on right now. I am just waiting for my ultrasound on Tuesday afternoon.
I had heard that one of the effects of pregnancy was that your tits would get bigger. I thought that mine surely would not get that big, because I was already a C cup. How much bigger do they need to be? Boy was I wrong! The girls have grown considerably over the past week. And they are sensitive, so I can really feel that they are larger. They are big enough that they can sort of get in my way. Hubby thinks this development is just grand. He will take big tits however he can get them. (Just like a boy.)
Nausea is still in effect, but not to terrible. I think I am managing the nausea all right, so it has not really affected me too badly. I love my ginger ale, though. I am still very tired, which comes with the territory. Hubby still likes me to do all the stuff I used to do, but is beginning to understand that I get really tired, really fast. I prefer being active, but I am trying to listen to my body and slow down when I can.
The four day weekend is really nice. The time off is really wonderful. I spend most of my time just relaxing. And that is fine.
My first ultrasound is on Tuesday with the Apprentice. I cannot believe I am 6 weeks already!
I had heard that one of the effects of pregnancy was that your tits would get bigger. I thought that mine surely would not get that big, because I was already a C cup. How much bigger do they need to be? Boy was I wrong! The girls have grown considerably over the past week. And they are sensitive, so I can really feel that they are larger. They are big enough that they can sort of get in my way. Hubby thinks this development is just grand. He will take big tits however he can get them. (Just like a boy.)
Nausea is still in effect, but not to terrible. I think I am managing the nausea all right, so it has not really affected me too badly. I love my ginger ale, though. I am still very tired, which comes with the territory. Hubby still likes me to do all the stuff I used to do, but is beginning to understand that I get really tired, really fast. I prefer being active, but I am trying to listen to my body and slow down when I can.
The four day weekend is really nice. The time off is really wonderful. I spend most of my time just relaxing. And that is fine.
My first ultrasound is on Tuesday with the Apprentice. I cannot believe I am 6 weeks already!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Openness.
Mel recently had a post on Blogher about announcing pregnancy after infertility. I have thought some about this recently because I have been very open about my IVF, at least with my co-workers. Because of this, a good number of people at work know about the results of my IVF cycle. Which translates to mean that a lot of people know that I am pregnant. On one hand I sort of like it because it means that there are a lot of people looking out for me. (It is especially nice that the charge nurses know. They have a tendency to be nicer to me!) On the other hand, I find it really annoying because it would have been nice to keep it quiet, at least for a little bit. Had I given it some thought, I probably could have kept it quieter by telling people I was still waiting. I probably could have stretched it out to 8-10 weeks before I actually told anyone. But, as many of us know, IVF is stresful. Hearing beta results is stressful, whether they are positive or negative. I do not do my best thinking when I am under stress. Also, I think I was pretty excited to actually be pregnant. I deserved at least a little bit of excitement.
Just to be clear:
I do not know how much my readers know about ORs. But we work very closely together every day. Because we work closely together, we gossip. Well, we can get bored during long procedures, and what else is there to do? There is no escaping it. This means that almost the entire OR knows (at least that is the way that it feels). That is quite a feat for my very large OR.
One thing I find really annoying about having so many people know about the pregnancy is that most people do not seem to understand my reaction to the news, or lack of reaction. I think I come across as more reserved than other people would be. This really confuses some people. Some of my co-workers actually understand, and do not push me too much. They get it because they have had other friends who went through infertility. Others want to make a big deal about it. Those co-workers I just want to smack. It comes across to me like they do not really care about my journey to get there, and simply want to celebrate in the pregnancy. I try to explain that it is a post-IVF pregnancy and that I am sort of freaked out by it, and they just look at me blankly. They have no concept of what I went through to get to this point.
I am not really ready to get excited about this yet. I can feel excitement growing inside me, but it is slow in coming. It it still very unbelievable to me right now. I still have the urge to POAS to verify that I am actually still pregnant, despite the fact that I am falling asleep on the couch every night, and the nausea is just annoying if I do not manage it properly. I also have twinges in my abdomen, my tits are sore, and I am very ditzy and irritable. All proper pregnancy symptoms. And in case you are interested, HPT this morning indicates that I am still pregnant.
I think I have a right to have reservations about the fact that I am pregnant. I know exactly what can happen during the first trimester. I have seen too many women in the community miscarry. I know I have several risk factors for miscarriage. There is a chance I could lose the pregnancy. And if that happens, then all of my co-workers will know. That scares the crap out of me. All I can do it take it one day at a time.
For the most part, though, it has not been too awful having so many people know. They do care, in their own way, and all are happy for me. All are encouraging, despite my vocal misgivings. I just wish I could stop the advice. Too many people want to tell me what to do now that I am pregnant, and how to do it. It has also been strange comparing pregnancy symptoms with other pregnant women. Granted, they are a month or two (or more) ahead of me, but they are a couple of women who understand what it took to get me here, so talk with them has mostly been physical symptoms and dealing with hubbies. Nothing too drastic, and both understand the IF thing. That has actually been sort of nice.
And because I think I need it:
My gratitude for today...
Just to be clear:
I do not know how much my readers know about ORs. But we work very closely together every day. Because we work closely together, we gossip. Well, we can get bored during long procedures, and what else is there to do? There is no escaping it. This means that almost the entire OR knows (at least that is the way that it feels). That is quite a feat for my very large OR.
One thing I find really annoying about having so many people know about the pregnancy is that most people do not seem to understand my reaction to the news, or lack of reaction. I think I come across as more reserved than other people would be. This really confuses some people. Some of my co-workers actually understand, and do not push me too much. They get it because they have had other friends who went through infertility. Others want to make a big deal about it. Those co-workers I just want to smack. It comes across to me like they do not really care about my journey to get there, and simply want to celebrate in the pregnancy. I try to explain that it is a post-IVF pregnancy and that I am sort of freaked out by it, and they just look at me blankly. They have no concept of what I went through to get to this point.
I am not really ready to get excited about this yet. I can feel excitement growing inside me, but it is slow in coming. It it still very unbelievable to me right now. I still have the urge to POAS to verify that I am actually still pregnant, despite the fact that I am falling asleep on the couch every night, and the nausea is just annoying if I do not manage it properly. I also have twinges in my abdomen, my tits are sore, and I am very ditzy and irritable. All proper pregnancy symptoms. And in case you are interested, HPT this morning indicates that I am still pregnant.
I think I have a right to have reservations about the fact that I am pregnant. I know exactly what can happen during the first trimester. I have seen too many women in the community miscarry. I know I have several risk factors for miscarriage. There is a chance I could lose the pregnancy. And if that happens, then all of my co-workers will know. That scares the crap out of me. All I can do it take it one day at a time.
For the most part, though, it has not been too awful having so many people know. They do care, in their own way, and all are happy for me. All are encouraging, despite my vocal misgivings. I just wish I could stop the advice. Too many people want to tell me what to do now that I am pregnant, and how to do it. It has also been strange comparing pregnancy symptoms with other pregnant women. Granted, they are a month or two (or more) ahead of me, but they are a couple of women who understand what it took to get me here, so talk with them has mostly been physical symptoms and dealing with hubbies. Nothing too drastic, and both understand the IF thing. That has actually been sort of nice.
And because I think I need it:
My gratitude for today...
- I am still pregnant
- I have today and the entire Memorial Day weekend off, despite the fact I volunteered to work. With no call, either!
- I think I will get a pedicure this morning. Good to pamper the toes!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Poor hubby!
I think Hubby was a little distressed this evening when he saw how tired I was. I worked 10 hours today, but the day actually was a fairly smooth and relatively uneventful day. The cases went smoothly, and they were spaced out enough that we did not have to rush setting up. And I was working within my chosen specialty! Overall, a really nice day. But I was stillexhausted at the end of the day. Hubby's immediate reaction to the situation was to try to get me to ask for shorter hours. I had to point out to him that I would be just as tired after an 8 hour day. Asking for fewer hours will not help the situation. I think he is just having a hard time adjusting to the changes that are happening to me while pregnant. I think some of them are taking him by surprise.
I got the chance to work with Dr. Sweetness today. I got a chance to update her on how I was doing. She was happy to hear about the nausea, and I think she saw how tired I was. It was great working with her today.
I am spending time on the couch with the dogs watching one of my favorite shows. Dead.liest Catch! I have to watch the episodes a week late because I need to go to bed early. At least I get to watch them.
I got the chance to work with Dr. Sweetness today. I got a chance to update her on how I was doing. She was happy to hear about the nausea, and I think she saw how tired I was. It was great working with her today.
I am spending time on the couch with the dogs watching one of my favorite shows. Dead.liest Catch! I have to watch the episodes a week late because I need to go to bed early. At least I get to watch them.
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