Thursday, February 26, 2009

I think I am really freaked out.

For whatever reason, I am really nervous about this IVF consult appointment. IVF is new and unknown to me, and this appointment is just for a consult. But it is really freaking me out. I have felt a lot of tension in my shoulders lately, and it will not go away. Working out makes it decrease, but the tension is still there. I really think the tension is there because of the IVF consult.

I have all sorts of questions running through my mind. Will the Wizard be as wonderful as I remember him? I know that IVF is a good choice for us, but will it work with my schedule? (My schedule is crazy.) Will Hubby be able to make his donation at a time convenient to him? (Because his schedule is crazy, too.) Will the Wizard really be able to work with the Apprentice? Will I have to do another injection class, or can we skip it because we did a few cycles with injectables already. (Not to mention, I am a nurse! I went to school for that.)

I am probably making a mountain out of a molehill. This seems to be my nature, though. I worry a lot. I call it having control issues. That seems to be a polite way of putting it. (Others who are not as nice call it OCD.) In the OR it is a good thing. Outside of the OR, it tends to drive people batty. I try to let go, and do without doing. But it is really hard for me.

Just trying to keep breathing. One more day of work, and then I am off until March 3. (Maybe I should ask to go home early tomorrow.) I am really looking forward to Saturday. Saturday we are off to spend an evening getting drunk in an Irish pub and singing pub songs. I am really looking forward to that. It should be a nice distraction!


princessoftides said...

Breathe deeply... but not too deeply ;)

Really hope your cycle goes well. Be sure to take very good care of yourself before, during and after!

Hang in there...

~Jess said...

Oh my goodness! Your saturday sounds AWESOME! So jealous!

I hope this cycle goes perfectly: I'm thinking about you guys.

Rose's Daughter said...


Hope your cycle goes well!!


Stacie said...

Here from ICLW.

I have to say that I am dreading calling my RE for round number 2, and I have worked with him for nearly a year before I got pregnant! Granted, it has been two years since I last saw him, but still. All of that is my round about way of saying that I think your worries are natural.


P.S. Have fun on Saturday. It sounds like it will be a blast!

'Murgdan' said...

Hang in there! I promise you'll feel better once it's all said and done. I was terrified before mine, and still get all nervous when I go there. I think I'm just scared of progress. :-)

Anonymous said...

thanks for your comment on my blog -- good luck with the consult, i cant wait to hear how it goes!

Bluebird said...

Your Saturday sounds like a blast! I hope you enjoy and you're able to take your mind off things a bit. IVF must be such an intimidating, nerve-wracking process - I can't even imagine.

Queenie. . . said...

I'm a control freak, too, and totally get the stress. Schedule a massage, buy yourself a really good book, vent to us, do whatever you find relaxing. . .treat yourself well. Things have a way of working themselves out in the end.

Deathstar said...

No matter what - you will make it work - it doesn't matter what your schedule is. Once you start up the IVF machine and plunk your money down, you will have made the commitment and being OCD will come in handy then.

By the way, I saw Seven Pounds last night (with Will Smith). It's not a good movie, rather grim, but there is a Great Dane in it!

annacyclopedia said...

Your Saturday does sound awesome! I hope it's a lot of fun for you and gives you a good mental break from all the worry.

I am a worrier, too, and I know how hard it is to let go of my own stuff. It is natural to be full of questions and anxiety right now - it is the unknown! That is always uncomfortable. I hope you can just honour your worry and your discomfort, and know that it will not last forever.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.