Sunday, February 1, 2009

I am trying not to feel guilty.

I need to have less loyalty to work. Do not get me wrong, I am grateful I have a job. It is even a job I enjoy. But it is still just a job. And I may be making a mountain out of a mole hill. Here is the situation....

I scheduled my IVF appointment for my day off (Thursday). I am scheduled to work 12 hours on Friday. (7A-7P). If the appointment was in town, it would not be a problem. I could go to the appointment and not worry about getting to work the next day. Unfortunately, the appointment is in Richmond. I want to spend the night with my parents in Charlottesville Thursday night and come home Friday. I would like to have Friday off, because I really want to spend some time with my parents before I come home. With everything going on with my family, it would be nice to connect with them. After looking at the schedule, I do not see any way to switch my schedule around so that I can have that day off. I am really tempted to call in on Friday. My parents would probably be willing to be my excuse. I think I need a sanity day, anyway. I have a lot going on, and a day off may help my mental status.

This is not too awful, is it? I should not feel too guilty about this, right? I woke up in a panic at 4 AM this morning because I was so worried about this. Took me forever to get back to sleep. I suspect my panic is not just about the IVF appointment. I suspect my panic is a combination of things: the fact that my grandfather is dying, I am in the 2ww, and I am thinking about moving on to IVF. I think that is enough to make anyone panic.

6 comments:

Duck said...

No not too much to ask at all - and shouldn't your employer want you to be relaxed and focused at work?

Queenie. . . said...

I never call in, either, because I feel too guilty. The funny thing is, my job never seems to be as thoughtful and caring of me as I am of it. Do what you need for YOU, and don't worry about the institution. It won't fall down if you call in, and if it does, it must have some massive management problems.

~Jess said...

I have never called in either...guilt complex. For your sanity and with everything going in I would call in. They'll survive.

Ann said...

I find it difficult as well - but if you really feel that the day would help you and you do it very rarely I wouldn't let it get to you. *hugs* Take care.

annacyclopedia said...

Sweetie, you have so much on your plate right now, it's a miracle you are not far more panicked than you are. By all means take the day off, and work hard at letting go of your guilt. I'm the same way with calling in sick, but your mental health is really important, especially right now with everything that's going on for you.

Thinking of you.

Mrs. Higrens said...

I'm right there with you on the 2-week wait and thinking about moving to IVF - I can't imagine what adding the anticipation of losing a grandparent to the mix would do to my mental state.

Don't feel guilty about taking a mental health day if you need it.