Thursday, September 24, 2009

Starting to feel human again.

I knew I needed this vacation. I knew I needed a vacation pretty badly. I feel so much better after getting away for a while!

I loved the pregnancy massage. Apparently pregnancy massage involves a lot of pillows and not lying on your back. If I was ever uncomfortable, I could have told the massage therapist, and she would have worked with that. I was really tied up in knots. Some of those knots have gone away, thanks to the massage. Others, I think I just need to deal with. One thing I realized during the massage is that I am really freaked out. I have really been trying to take a zen attitude with this pregnancy, and that is the appearance I think I give to the outside world. But underneath it all, I am really scared. Neither my husband nor I do well with change, and this one is a biggie. I think it is all right to be scared and freaked out. It seems to be normal reaction. But it does loom large. This baby is coming at some point, and we need to adjust to it. I went online this morning and ordered a whole bunch of books on baby's first year from Amazon. They may be there by the time I get home. I do not know if reading about it will help me, but it may give me a better idea as to what to expect. I also bought the Caveman's Guide to Baby's first year for the hubby. Hopefully that will help him, too.

I am 24 weeks today. I am a little unclear as to when third trimester starts, but I must be getting close. Really need to get started on that nursery. Sigh.


annacyclopedia said...

I'm so glad you are realizing that it is normal to be freaked out. It always hurts my heart when people are freaked out about being freaked out - like they're doing something wrong. It's bad enough to be worried and anxious and curious and freaked out about the baby coming - no need to add to it by judging our feelings. I've struggled with this myself but really, it is totally normal to be scared. It IS a big change - the biggest!

And wow - 24 weeks! That's exciting. The third trimester starts somewhere between 27 and 29 weeks, depending on who you ask, it seems. It's definitely coming soon.

Glad your massage was awesome - I need to go for another one soon. The set up where I went was so comfortable I wanted it for sleeping - just spread the pressure evenly over my whole body so side-lying felt completely comfortable and balanced. Bliss!

Rose's Daughter said...

I'm jealous!!! I want a vacation and a massage!!! And remember, change happens whether we want it to or not, and that baby is coming in 16 weeks. Get started on that nursery.( well, at least pick out the colors!) :)

Lorza said...

YEAH FOR HUMANS!!! :) I am glad you had a good break- you definately deserve it girl!

Shinejil said...

Oh, I think it's perfectly normal to be scared shitless. About the change, what it will do to your relationships, your mind, your hopes, if the baby will be okay, etc. I feel it every day. IF adds another layer of anxiety to it, but it's there for everyone.

We will all manage this, in our own ways and in concert with our the new humans in our lives. We will all have our own timelines and victories and frustrations. You can totally do this!

Infertile In the City said...

Big changes,but good ones too! Hope the books help yout out :)