Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Coasting into Thanksgiving

Apparently my estradiol was too high again today. So I am still coasting. Sigh.

I had a Tom Petty song running through my head this morning as I was waking up and getting ready for work.

The chorus from "The Waiting" was really what was on loop in my brain:

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part

I think it sort of reflects where I am at right now.

I knew going into this cycle that I was at the mercy of the docs and my body. I expected some waiting. Waiting for the eggs to mature, the inevitable 2ww after IUI. If I was paying attention, I should have gotten a hint about the wait I am currently in. My eggs have matured, but I apparently have too many eggs developing, so I have to wait for my hormone levels to come down. I was told I was at risk for hyperstimulation before I started the cycle. (Common with PCOS.) Coasting is one way to prevent overstimulation. apparently.

I sort of feel like I am at the start of a game or race. And the person in charge of starting is just messing with you. "Get ready.....get ready...psych! Ha, ha!" I think I have mentioned in previous posts that I am not patient at all. When I want to do something, I want it done now. I do not want to wait for it once I have made up my mind.

I understand why RE is having me coast. Intellectually, I understand that this is for my health and safety. I get that. I think I am more frustrated with my body for not doing what I want it to do. And there is nothing I can do to make it better. All I can do hang on and wait and hope my hormone levels come back in line.

At least I will have something to do while I am waiting. My parents are coming down for Thanksgiving, and I will cook the turkey. It should be a good day. I enjoy seeing my parents. Then I have to work on Friday from 11AM-11PM. Sort of a sucky shift, but I am hoping it will not be too awful. Hubby and I will likely spend the weekend catching up with each other.

I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving, and enjoy the weekend!

2 comments:

About Me said...

I still love you!! The Jake and I are playing "toss the kong!!!" and thinking happy thoughts your way!!

Queenie. . . said...

I am keeping my fingers crossed that you get some good news tomorrow. Hang in there.