Sunday, May 3, 2009

Hiding

It a raining outside, and I took that as a sign that I was not supposed to leave the house today. Though, Hubby and I did go out for breakfast. I wanted to go to Waff.le House because I figured there would likely be fewer families there. Hubby and I really like Waff.le House. Sometimes that is just what you are in the mood for. It was a pleasant breakfast, with no children in sight. Just perfect. The hot flash in the middle of breakfast was just added entertainment.

Hubby mentioned that he was nervous about the result of this cycle. He says he has not been sleeping well because he has been worried about it. I can understand that. I was the one who had all the poking and prodding, so I know how much work this was. I am nervous, too. The frustrating thing is that there are no clues telling us if the cycle worked, and there is nothing we can do to ensure success. It leaves us both a little frustrated. We will know nothing until Thursday. At least it is only four days away now. (Not that I am counting.) I have already started thinking about FET, though. Still not convinced this is the one. I guess there is always hope, but that has its own set of problems.

I think it is easier for my heart to think about things negatively. I will believe it when I see it. I have been let down too many times, and the stakes are much higher this time around. I talk about this some with my co-workers, and they just do not understand why I am not excited about this. It is because I know too well that IVF is not a garaunteed solution. There is a very good possibility this may not work, and this wait is what it all hinges on. At this point, it is a roll of the dice. Maybe we got lucky, and maybe we did not. It all depends on whether our little blasts decide that my uterus makes a nice home. I hope that they do, but I am not counting on it.

I remain cautiously optimistic. That seems to be the only way for me to get though this.

2 comments:

Queenie. . . said...

I completely and totally hear you. I hope Thursday brings magnificent news.

Lorza said...

yum...waffle house!!! I am glad you had a good breakfast and hope you are at home taking it easy! I am praying Thursday has awesome news!!!!